Do we ever grow up?

I am  a mother. I have four children who I love to hug and to hold.
I am their mentor, guide, friend and constant.
For over twenty years I’ve been there for them.

Yet I am still a child.photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/doniree/6816838567/">donireewalker</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

My mother is thankfully a strong presence in my life.
She is my mentor, guide, friend and constant.
This year when I was so very sad visiting my friend,
whose little boy was sick,
I wrote about the very special hug I got which only a mom can give.

A mothers hug to her child, who is also busy being a mum!

Tonight I thought about this as I said “Goodnight” to my youngest who is eleven.
She was having trouble sleeping, and was bored and frustrated lying in bed.
For the first time in a very long time I lay beside her.

As I did, the years slipped away.
I breathed in my little lady and took a trip back through time.photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kwerfeldein/3369476749/">Martin Gommel</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>
It seemed like only yesterday that I walked the floors with her,
and broke all my rules taking her into bed with us.
I remembered all those nights snuggled up reading her a story,
listening to her sucking away on her soother. Watching her tugging at her hair,
struggling to keep her little eyes open.

As I looked at her lying beside me I felt a pang of sadness.
I had had the privilege of rearing four babies.
Four little ones who loved me unconditionally.
Now, after over twenty years, my time of hands on mothering is drawing to a close.
Lying beside my baby, I was so aware that these special moments were almost over.

My thoughts then went off to my own mum.
Once upon a time she too had held me like this,
as she had my four siblings.
She too had walked the floor with us,
worried about us, and helped settle us to sleep.
On many occasions she was the “fixer” in my life,
helping me through troubled times.

I could not stay beside my little one all night.
As I heard her breathing deepen,
I knew it was time to leave.
I had done enough.

As I quietly slipped out of her room,
I thought of my older children.
They no longer need me in the same way.
I have done the best I can.photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/aarongilson/5419907020/">aarongilson</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>
They have been loved and cherished and given the opportunity of life.
What they do with it is up to them.
They are on their own.

However may they never be in any doubt,
Where ever they go, or whatever they do,
I will always be holding their hands in my heart.

Just as my own mum still does for me.

photo credit: donireewalker via photopin cc
photo credit: Martin Gommel via photopin cc
photo credit: aarongilson via photopin cc

Advertisements

32 thoughts on “Do we ever grow up?

      1. My youngest is only six but I still find myself wanting to steal a smooch of new babies when I see them. Or smell them.! 🙂 Time does race past. You have reminded me that it is still more than ever the right time to cuddle now while opportunity avails. Saying that, I hate when they end up in my bed and take over with their elongated body formations and a foot in the mouth. 😉 x

  1. You can’t get out of it that easily! You’re mom and will always be their mom. We don’t need our moms the same way, no, but we do need them and those of us who are lucky enough to have them around still should appreciate it more. Even if it’s a simple hug like you got from your mom, they need you. My mom made me the man I am today, good and bad, so she has to own up to it as you must to your own kids/adults someday! lol.

  2. Oh, I don’t think it’s about growing up at all. (I just finished a post about this which I’m going to publish tomorrow.) I think it’s about the emotional bonding we receive from the touching and hugging we get and give. We need it to survive and thrive. When we can get close enough to another human to inhale their familiar scent, we trigger something instinctual that goes straight to the heart, to the core of our being that connects us in a way nothing else can.

    1. I think you’re right. I was just pondering how odd it is, I still feel like the child of my mom and yet my children see me as their mother, which I very definitely also feel. Both a child and a mother.

  3. I wish there was a like button on the comments too. Thanks for the post, due to the physical and some times emotional distance between my mom and me, I sometimes forget what it is like the be the child. But I so love to be the child with my boys. Even though they are in their mid-20s now they still go with me to the animated movies. I can’t wait till they start having children of their own so I will have another excuse for going to the kiddie movies.

    1. I so admire parents who did not have the parenting I had and manage to turn everything they’ve experienced and love their children as the mother they perhaps did not experience.
      Since getting to “know” you I have always felt you were very much a mom! I’m sure you have fabulous boys.

  4. Lovely post.

    I think about this often. In a way I’m lucky that my little guy doesn’t grow. At thirteen he’s still small enough to carry and young enough in his mind to want it. And though he may never grow, and be with me for the rest of my life, which is not what I would want for him, it means I may never have to do without. Such a conundrum.

    1. Linda you really get a very different view of this mothering as do all moms with children with special needs.. Bittersweet really. I suppose my way is what we expect, the more natural way, whereas yours is, well I can’t actually describe it.

      1. I think it’s because of my two special needs kids that I was actually somewhat thrilled when my eldest moved out. It’s great to see him independent, and I’m very happy for him. It is weird.

  5. Such a wonderful post! I want to go hug my babies right now! Of course, I’d get the typical “MOM” response, then the “what’s wrong” question. Ah, the phases of our lives…rewarding and sad at the same time. Good job!

  6. Oh a beautiful and true post.
    You are right, there is no hug like a mom hug.
    My beautiful Mum passed away a long time ago and there is no-one who could give me that same hug, despite being surrounded by love and cuddles.
    I love giving mommy hugs to my two little beauties. My little man is almost 4 and has always been a terrible sleeper and climbs into bed with us every night. He nuzzles into my neck and falls fast asleep. Such mommy’s boy.
    My 6 year old loves her cuddles too. Long may it last 🙂

    1. I hope tonight after reading this you really enjoy those baby hugs. Do you know if I really think about it I can almost smell my babies as newborns!

  7. I feel as old as the hills sometimes, and as young as a daisy at others! Perhaps being a special needs Mum makes it so — my girl is and always will be about two years old, some say I’m lucky because she will always needs me, and always give me a big smile every morning after I’ve blearily stumbled down the stairs to get her up xx

  8. Beautiful post. I am currently breaking all the rules with Mini Mini-she’s in our bed every night!!I know it won’t last forever though and am enjoying it while I can.

    1. Oh enjoy this lovely magical time. I love love love newborns. If I hear one cry in the supermarket I have to go find it. You have been very blessed by having your two beautiful girls. I bet you can’t believe all your pregnancy worry is over.

  9. I am very lucky to have a good relationship with my parents. We butted heads when I was younger, but we were always close.
    This post reminds me of when I was a teenager and my mother told me a secret. She said that every adult, no matter how old, still thinks of them selves as they were as a teenager. Life just gets a little more complicated and you can’t go quite as quickly any more.
    I think it was at that moment that my relationship with my parents changed. I still ask my dad for help around the house and I still call my mom when I’m not feeling well, but we are all adults now and I’m happy to say that they are my friends.

    1. That is a great way to look at it, we all remain young or we all grow up. Mind you a hug from my mom still means the same to me as it did when I was a child.
      I suppose it it not until we grow up that we realise that our inner child never changes.

Comments are always welcome.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s