Slowly emerging from the fog.

Six weeks ago I left my life as I knew it. While the world continued to spin and lives were lived daily, my world stopped. Cocooned within the walls of our childhood home in Dublin, my family and I accompanied my Mum along her final path in life.

No goodbye is easy, and a final goodbye the hardest of all, but her wishes were simple… to stay at home. For ten precious days we were with her, day and night. Conversations were had, tears were shed and so many laughs shared. As we wondered how we would carry on without her, she mothered us to the end. During one special moment as she chose her final songs, it all became too much. As I cried, insisting it was going to be too sad she said, “Just think, when that song is playing I’ll be waltzing with your dad.”

Logic would suggest that, with the end in sight, the days would race by and our time together be over all too soon? However, time is a funny thing. Even though it is marked in seconds, minutes and hours, it travels at different speeds. So it was, that as our time together grew shorter, the days lengthened. Every second counted, every chat was cherished, every smile parceled up to be opened one day in the future and every kiss inhaled and stored deep in our hearts.

Until there were no more.

And while I am heartbroken at her loss, how lucky am I to have known a love such as this? How we will miss her. She was a lady, a most kindhearted and generous soul, the strongest, most resilient person I have ever known.

She was my Mum.

I have rarely, if ever, posted a photo of myself on my blog and my mum is equally as private, but I do hope, for one time only she’ll forgive me as this photo says so much.

And if that is not enough to have you wailing, here is the song she chose for her waltz with my dad once more!

42 thoughts on “Slowly emerging from the fog.

  1. Tric my sympathies on the loss of your mother. And I admit, a bit of joy in my heart thinking of your parents together after such a very long separation. The song is beautiful. And I can envision them waltzing. I hope for your mother’s love and her memories to comfort you.

    1. Thank you Colleen. That is indeed one of the greatest consolations we have. My mum missed my dad so dearly, it is indeed a comfort to imagine they may indeed be together again.

  2. This… so you, a strong woman with a grace I have rarely seen in others. So sorry for your loss, but so happy that you mom is once again with your dad and dancing their waltz. Sending love across the ocean for a peace to come to you as you remember your mum in all her beautiful ways.

  3. I’m so very sorry for you loss, Tric. I got a great sense of this Donegal mother from reading your posts over the years. Sympathies to you and all the clan. I hope you find some sense of peace to enable you to navigate your loss soon. With every good wish.

    1. How lovely to hear from you. Thank you so much. She was a mighty Donegal woman alright but yes there is much comfort in how peaceful it all worked out for her. Thanks again for taking the time to comment

  4. Thank you for writing this. I’m a complete stranger from the western US who chanced upon your blog, but I feel like you described exactly what I recently experienced with my dad. We had our version of 10 perfect days, and for that, I am grateful. May your memory of those days linger and support you when the loss feels especially large.

    1. Lovely to connect with you. I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. The world is so different and empty without them, but yes many never get those precious final days.

  5. Dear Tric,
    I’m so sorry to read about the loss of your mother. She sounds like such a gift to so many, and you carry on her warmth and caring and love with all who you touch…What a beautiful photo of the two of you – it does convey so much love and joy!
    love, Lucia

    1. Thank you Lucia. She was a real force of nature, but unlike your beautiful daughter she had lived a long life. Her time had come, it is only us who were not ready. I don’t think we ever would have been.

  6. What a wonderful picture she left for you – – both of your parents happily dancing through heaven.

    My condolences to you and your family.

  7. Ah, Tric, what a lovely and wonderful last step your Mum took! How wonderful that she left you all with grace and love and humor. We should all wish for the same gentle passing. Sending you much sympathy and support. Thank you for sharing this precious time with us.

    1. Thank you so much for your sympathies. Yes indeed hers was a final chapter we would all wish to write and all too many don’t get to experience.

  8. I am so sorry for the loss of your mum but you were so lucky to have shared that time, those memories, that laughter and tears, in her last days. I love the song. So perfect for their waltzing. β™₯️

    1. Thank you Mick. My sympathies to you too on your losses. The reality of forever is huge, and thankfully not hitting home just yet.

  9. the way you cared for her and described her, shows what. a powerful love you were both so lucky to have experienced with each other. may she always waltz in your hearts left behind and in your dad’s arms once again. ❀

  10. My deepest sympathy for you on your loss Tric: I know how it is to lose your mum. I hope your memories will bring happy smiles along with the tears ❀️

  11. I’m sorry to read of your loss. But I know what a gift it is to be there at the end. May her memory be a blessing.

  12. β€˜For ten precious days we were with her, day and night.’
    What a beautiful way to die. I’m very sorry for your loss πŸ’” but I’m glad that your mum was able to die in the place of her choosing, surrounded by the love of her family. Your memories indeed are very precious. ❀️

  13. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom! What a gift to be with her those last days and store up memories and love. Hugs and prayers!

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