I am a mother. I have four children who I love to hug and to hold.
I am their mentor, guide, friend and constant.
For over twenty years I’ve been there for them.
My mother is thankfully a strong presence in my life.
She is my mentor, guide, friend and constant.
This year when I was so very sad visiting my friend,
whose little boy was sick,
I wrote about the very special hug I got which only a mom can give.
A mothers hug to her child, who is also busy being a mum!
Tonight I thought about this as I said “Goodnight” to my youngest who is eleven.
She was having trouble sleeping, and was bored and frustrated lying in bed.
For the first time in a very long time I lay beside her.
As I did, the years slipped away.
I breathed in my little lady and took a trip back through time.
It seemed like only yesterday that I walked the floors with her,
and broke all my rules taking her into bed with us.
I remembered all those nights snuggled up reading her a story,
listening to her sucking away on her soother. Watching her tugging at her hair,
struggling to keep her little eyes open.
As I looked at her lying beside me I felt a pang of sadness.
I had had the privilege of rearing four babies.
Four little ones who loved me unconditionally.
Now, after over twenty years, my time of hands on mothering is drawing to a close.
Lying beside my baby, I was so aware that these special moments were almost over.
My thoughts then went off to my own mum.
Once upon a time she too had held me like this,
as she had my four siblings.
She too had walked the floor with us,
worried about us, and helped settle us to sleep.
On many occasions she was the “fixer” in my life,
helping me through troubled times.
I could not stay beside my little one all night.
As I heard her breathing deepen,
I knew it was time to leave.
I had done enough.
As I quietly slipped out of her room,
I thought of my older children.
They no longer need me in the same way.
I have done the best I can.
They have been loved and cherished and given the opportunity of life.
What they do with it is up to them.
They are on their own.
However may they never be in any doubt,
Where ever they go, or whatever they do,
I will always be holding their hands in my heart.
Just as my own mum still does for me.