Oh dear, I’m traumatised.
What happened I hear you say? (I have a good imagination). Well as I was happily going about enjoying last Friday night, I received a facebook message that stopped me in my tracks. It was from the husband of one of my oldest friends. She lives in the US and was to celebrate a big birthday on Saturday. His request was simple, could I please send her a skype video message?
Aw, I thought, what a lovely thing for him to organise for her.
Filled with happy thoughts for my friend I began to imagine her receiving messages from those here in Ireland who would miss her big day. However as time passed I began to think more practically. I’d to send a video. Sweet Jesus a video, in which I can be seen, and I can be heard, with my mismatch of accents, and a face meant for radio. Yikes. I don’t even do photos and if I’m asked to smile for the camera I’ve been known to say, ‘Sorry I’m in witness protection’. Now I’d committed to a video!
However this lady means the world to me. I’d no choice, so I set about investigating the logistics of what I’d agreed to do.
Firstly, get skype.
I set about this and it was surprisingly easy. Bursting with pride at how high tech I was, I added the contact details I’d been given and yahoo ready. However it was a little unsettling, and a bit too real, when my new skype buddy immediately typed ‘Hi’. Was he now sitting there awaiting my video? Well good luck to him if he was, because he’d have a long wait. I’d no clue how to even begin.
At the corner of the screen I spotted a video camera. What an eejit I was, obviously just click that and I’d be sorted. So I clicked it. Nothing. I tried numerous times and various other buttons before deciding it must be my laptop. Taking a few good slugs of wine, to calm my nerves, I reached for my husbands laptop and joined skype all over again.
All was going well until it refused to let me move on without identifying myself by saving a photo. For Gods sake I looked ninety. However for the sake of my buddy I’d little choice, so moaning loudly I picked any old photo and moved on.
At last I was back to the part where I could once again see the video camera. My youngest had decided to join me having arrived for the photo shoot. I straightened myself up, fake smiled at the screen, pressed the camera and action…
Ring, ring, ring.
‘Feck what’s happening?’ I shouted pressing the video camera a million times.
‘You’re phoning him’ shrieked my daughter, bursting her sides laughing.
‘Stop it’ I roared.
Ring, Ring, ring.
‘Do something!’ I yelled as my daughter wiped tears of laughter from her cheeks.
Just then the ringing stopped.
‘Oh my God, my heart’, I said.
I looked at myself in the little screen.
‘Look at the cut of me. My hair looks like it’s painted on my head’ I said to my still laughing daughter. ‘I think I’ll have to change this jumper, I look like someone in the midst of an apparition the light is shining off it so brightly’. So off I went. I chose a dark pink slightly dressy jumper, which made me look a lot less pasty and I confidently sat behind my laptop again.
‘Oh no, will you look at me now I look topless!’ I said. My jumper was a wide neck, too wide for the small screen. So off I went for outfit number three. My new criteria was a jumper which didn’t make me look terminally ill or as if I’d forgotten to get dressed.
At last I returned to continue my birthday skype message, an hour after beginning. I decided the wise thing to do was to warn my new contact that he was not to answer me no matter how often I rang him. He kindly assured me he’d had a similar difficulty that morning.
Thanks to youtube I soon discovered the error of my ways and having banished my youngest, I was at last sitting ‘pretty’. I was assured I could preview whatever I recorded, so with the help of the remainder of my glass of wine I began to relax and sat for a moment to think what I wanted to say to this friend of mine.
I wrote a post to her recently after she lost her dad, but this was different. What do I say in three minutes to someone who has had a huge impact on my life, who was part of so many happy memories as we nursed together, and who walked beside me, holding my hand on the darkest of days when we said good bye to my dad?
After much thought I decided this was not the time for such heartfelt thoughts. This was her birthday, the first without her dad. She needed something lighter. So I ran back upstairs and found a couple of old photos of the two of us. You know those embarassing old photos which you look back at and wonder what were you thinking? Well I found two of those and returned to my new friend Skype. The time for thought was over. Without any rehearsal I recorded my piece, not caring what I looked or sounded like. This wasn’t about me, it was a simple message from me to her on her special day.
Thankfully I have no memory of what I ended up saying last Friday night, but here on my blog, without the distraction of my face, I would like to repeat part of my message,
Especially to you ‘mo chara mo chroí’
And to the rest of you reading it’s official, I will never, ever be a vlogger.
photo credit: vlog via photopin (license)
photo credit: nicole via photopin (license)
photo credit: skampy via photopin cc
23 thoughts on “I’ll give vlogging a skip.”
He he he Tric, you did it very well after first starting with Skype same day 😀
Haha. Actually that’s true. I should congratulate myself. 🙂
Yes you should 😉
Those around you who adore you, easily see well beyond what you feel to be faults.
I look at you and see beauty, and I’m a total stranger.
What a kind comment. Thank you so much.
I look at you and see… a woman I wouldn’t half mind a pint with. Good work, tric. This is why I respond with an emphatic NO to the suggestion of Skype.
Never say never. But in the meantime if you got skype we could video link and drink. 🙂
I can’t help it Tric, I’m quite enjoying the idea of you ‘vlogging’. You who do not take pictures, record your voice, or want to be ‘seen’ at all. 🙂 I love it.
My friend tweeted ‘it will be released on you tube in ten years time!’ Definitely outside my comfort zone.
I hear you! No pun intended. Can’t stand the sound of my own voice. Let alone my face speaking! 😉
I’m glad you got to make a video for your friend. I’m sure you looked fine! I am with you on not vlogging, though. The thought of it gives me the creeps!
I’m with you there. Whatever about people who know you reading,imagine them watching,
Oh, you make me feel so much better about myself, Tric! We Skyped last weekend for the first time without one of our kids in the room; took almost an hour to connect with out friends on the other side, and all four of us were well into the wine and laughing our butts off when we finally did manage the connection!
Sometimes I do miss “Airmail”!
Airmail. You’re right there was a lot to be said for airmail. Mind you my youngest had a great night watching me in action.
Haha, so funny. My internet is too slow to Skype (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it). I’m so intimidated and clueless when it comes to new technology. You had me commiserating and laughing.
So great! I’m impressed and would love to see you do a vlog sometime – maybe just for a minute, so we can see you! 🙂 I don’t know how to record something on Skype, maybe you’ll have to give us all lessons…
i completely understand every word of this, tric. i really have problems with both tech and images of myself. a nightmare, but you overcame to do the right thing and leave your ego behind. and had help with the tech. all good in the end and i’m quite sure your friend appreciates it.
I have a lot sympathy with your Vlog troubles. My family are pretty scattered, so I make a lot of use of Skype and I have done for a few years. In a rational world, I should now be nicknamed Skypemaster and be the envy of the video chatting world. In fact, more often than not, I push the wrong button and lose the picture of the person I’m trying to talk to. I’m most impressed you managed to work it out in a day.
Haha oh Tric it sounds like a very eventful date with Skype!! I’m not a fan of using it myself and absolutely hate my voice on any kind of recording! Hope she liked her message from you 🙂
It is a shame you will never be a vlogger….because by the sounds of it it would be epic. 🙂
Yep, if you like bare chested, mad bed head haired women who keep forgetting the camera is not the screen. Definitely epic.
When I’d finished, my eldest came home and when I told her I’d posted a skype video she looked at me and said, ‘Were you wearing that?’. To which I replied, ‘As if!’ 🙂
This is too funny! I’m like you, rarely in photos and if I am it usually means there have been too many beverages consumed. I shudder at Skype, Facetime and Vlogging. Good on you!