Okay I know my title sounded very shouty, but now I’ve lured you in, I’m whispering and feeling a lot less brave. So I’ll spit it out. I’ve been asked to contribute to the Feelgood magazine supplement of an Irish newspaper called ‘The Irish Examiner’ on a weekly basis.
Why am I not roaring it from the hill tops? Well there are none close by for starters, but aside from that I’m sick with nerves. This is a public newspaper…which people read…in large numbers…and it’s sold in Ireland.
I’ll let you digest that news for a moment before attempting to explain my reticence, in no particular order.
I love writing in my blog but I usually fool myself into believing it is only a few readers living a million miles away, who pay any attention to it. The majority of people I meet in everyday life have no idea I write, here or anywhere for that matter. I’ve thrived in the belief, deluded or not, that I’m anonymous, or semi so. By accepting this offer my bubble is burst, and if I’m honest, I am not sure I’m able for that, or up to the job.
I had to have my photograph taken! Yes my mug will appear next to my article. Anyone who regularly reads here will know what I think of having my photo taken, so to have a photographer come to my home was…lets just say difficult. My children were highly amused getting me to ‘practice’ my smile beforehand, only to remind me that when I do smile, I look like I’m having a stroke. They also suggested I put on make up. However moments later, before I’d even left the room in search of any makeup, they stared at my face, up close, told me my eyebrows were shocking and I’d no eyelashes so there was no point. Yes that made me feel really good about myself and not in the least self conscious. Not long after, the photographer arrived. He did his best but I’ve little doubt he has had a lot more willing models in his day.
My column is to be written with humour. Yep I’ve to be funny. Now I must admit I do love to tell stories, and the more outrageous and ‘funny’ the better, but that’s usually on a night out, with a small glass of wine in hand, and a more than willing audience. It’s a different matter entirely, to sit down to a lap top and think… what funny thing will I write about today? Up to now, on occasions I’ve written the odd humourous piece here on my blog. I am easily amused, often laughing out loud as I write. Not anymore. Now as I write, I see a perfect picture of Johnny and Mary before me, reading Feelgood in The Examiner.
“Mary, did you see the state of that new one writing in Feelgood?”
“Ye, God love her”
“Did you read what she wrote today?”
“No, should I?”
“I wouldn’t bother. She’s an awful eejit. I’d say she thinks she’s funny.”
“Ha, you’re right Johnny, the only thing funny about her is that photograph.”
However, despite Johnny and Mary’s best efforts to put me off, after much consideration, sleepless nights and nightmares, I’ve agreed to a trial for a few months. A huge part of me is, as we say over here in Ireland, ‘Brickin it’, but a small part of me is delighted to be asked and sure I’ll be okay.
I just wish those two parts were the other way around.
Wish me luck, and if you can give me any tips on any part of my writing you have found ‘funny’ please let me know.