I have a secret photo album

I have a secret album. It has cost me nothing as it requires no printing, in fact it doesn’t even require a camera. I keep this album locked away in the recess of my mind. In a world of multi media sharing of every moment of our lives, from dawn until dusk, these photos are for my eyes only.

So if you were to find my album, what photos would you find there?

Way back at the beginning you would see photos of a young girl, a very young pyjama clad me, sitting on my mum’s lap with my younger photo 3 (2)brother, living the bedroom story we are being told. You’d laugh at photos of five of us and a dog squashed in the back of a car, of a father kissing a daughter goodnight, unaware her book is at the ready under her pillow. You’d see a mother waving the youngest three off to school, of a godmother bringing her godchild to have her communion photo taken, and family holidays always in sunshine.

One by one the five of us grew legs. The teenage years album is filled with family and fun, wonderful holidays and Christmases others can only dream of. There are no photos of anything or anyone who hurt me during that time. All is rosy.

As you turn the pages of time you may see photos of a father becoming unwell until he can no longer speak or move, but that is not what I see. I see twinkling eyes still sparkling and a mouth begin a smile when such a feat is almost impossible. I see a wife by his side, not pitying but loving, not nursing but caring. If you look beyond the special bed he lies in you will see his family gathered, laughing and chatting. Family life existing around him, not away from him.

There are few photos of his funeral, but plenty of the sky where I search for him, of the sunshine where I feel him and of the tool press where he will always be standing.

My album is large but easy to browse. There are two separate categories for family, the one I was born into and the one I gave birth to. photo credit: 189/365 Memories (+1) via photopin (license)There is the category ‘love’, where my parents, my godmother and siblings live, as well as the one where my soulmate, children and friends live. Fun, madness and laughter are also key categories.

I never get sick of taking photos. I do it every day, for in every day there are magic moments. Today was just such a day as, she who does not wish to appear on my blog, graduated from school. There were photos of her last morning, her smiling face among her friends during the ceremony, her posing with them afterwards, a mature, confident, self assured young woman, my child no longer.

Today was a day spent clicking that camera in my mind, so that tonight and many other nights, hopefully years from now, I can open my album, where ever I may be, go to ‘end of an era’ and remember the many precious moments I have lived, enjoyed and appreciated.

If you’ve not yet begun a secret album I think you should.

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32 thoughts on “I have a secret photo album

  1. What a beautiful post Tric! I loved reading about you and your Dad. You have such a wonderful writing style!

    Michele at Angels Bark

    1. Thank you Michele, that’s lovely to hear. I find writing about Dad very easy and it’s lovely to continue to make him a part of my blog even after almost thirty years apart.

  2. I just can’t tell you how much I love this post!

    With my actual photo albums locked away in a storage unit with an ocean and an entire continent between us, I have also had to rely on and give thanks for my own secret virtual album. Just this morning the picture I pulled out and described to one of my daughters was how we put a tire swing in one of the 200-year-old trees in our garden, using a bow and arrow to hang the rope from branches 30-feet off the ground. She laughed to remember the incredibly long arc of the swing, sure that they had been flying high above the ground (even though the length of the ropes ensured they actually remained quite low).

    1. What a lovely photo to share despite not having access to any physically.
      Aren’t we lucky that unlike modern technology our photos can transform to a video in a moment?
      So glad you enjoyed the post. It’s always lovely to get that feedback. Thank you.

  3. Yeesh, Tric. Do you ever know how to pull the heartstrings! Beautiful writing, so personal and yet so universal in the way you invite your readers to reflect of those snapshots that define each life. Thank you for giving us a glimpse of the photo album in your head. The pictures are wonderful.

  4. Such a lovely read and a fabulous idea. Congratulations to your teenage graduate. I have a ‘he who does not wish to appear on my blog’ or on any of my social media sites and who graduates from TY next week. Never knew there was such a thing! x

    1. Thanks Elaine.
      I first began to do this consciously over ten years ago. A lovely friend of mine had terminal cancer. She had three young children. As she became more sick we used to speak of the many amazing moments we witnessed each day but ignored. So every day when I’d call to her we’d exchange our memories.
      I’ve continued to do it since. While writing this my friend was very much in my heart, as were some of the memories I’d shared with her, her sister and family.

  5. That’s so lovely! I rely hugely on real photo albums – many of my childhood memories are based around real photographs, which then trigger other memories about the day in question. I’d love to be better at remembering without photos, but then again, another way to look at is that I’m glad I do have those childhood albums.

    1. Those photos are very much a part of my life too. I only just replied to another comment as to why I have this particular album.
      I began to do this over ten years ago, when a friend of mine was very ill with terminal cancer. She’d young children. We spoke of the many magic moments that happen each day which we forget or miss. So for as long as she continued to live we shared each day the moments that we had each enjoyed.
      I’ve been doing it since almost daily. It’s surprising how many moments daily you tune into and imagine photographing without actually doing anything.

  6. I have several photo albums very similar to yours stored in my secret hiding place. I have made a mental note at times to take the photo I’ll never be able to take again and even envisioned myself pursuing the shutter button to snap the photo. (I thought I was weird or crazy or both!)

  7. This was such a sweet post, Tric. I use my “memory camera” with my kids a lot since they won’t stay still long enough for a real photo and hate being photographed anyway. Many of my real photographs just show outstretched hands attempting to cover the lens. My memory snaps, on the other hand, always come out perfectly. 🙂

    1. Glad you liked it.
      Yes my gang are allergic to photos, not unlike myself, but these photos are the real natural unposed ones that say so much more.
      I love the way when I take a photo sometimes, perhaps of my eldest, it automatically appears in my secret album alongside another one of her as a baby or small girl.

      1. It’s amazing when I think of my children as toddlers and then see them as they are now. The elder boy is actually taller than me now. How did that happen? 🙂

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