Have you ever felt your marriage tested? In principle, I’m all for monogamy, love at first sight, him being your best friend and you both living happily ever after, but what about the reality? That first time you look at him and think, ‘Oh dear he’s not so gorgeous now?’ Followed quickly by the memory, that sometime during your wedding day you foolishly promised, ’til death do us part’.
Chances are, if you’ve been married a long time, that there have been many tests of your marriage and then you had children! Is there any greater test than those early years of parenting?
Yet thankfully those years do pass and in this house we have found ourselves almost out the gap. Our children still cause us major angst and upset but we now discover we have time for ourselves, that moment we dreamed of has arrived.
So this week we decided to make use of our new found freedom and, lucky for me, yer man had won a voucher last Christmas entitling us to two nights bed and breakfast and one dinner in a beautiful hotel. I was really looking forward to the break, but as is often the case getting organised was hectic and on more than one occasion I wondered if it was worth it? Having called on friends to cover for me and broken the news to my children that I had only supplied one dinner, it was almost time to go.
I sat for a final cup of tea and smiled, imagining almost three days away. Just the two of us… Himself and myself… Two of us… alone… no distractions.
Oh my God just the two of us… alone… together! What were we going to do? We are married twenty five years and most days barely see each other. Maybe it’s a comment on our marriage but on occasions I have been known to say,
‘Sorry I’ve not seen him’,
‘I’ve not had a chance to tell him yet’,
‘I’m not sure if he’s in’.
Well today I arrived home… and, you’ll be relieved to hear, so did he! Turns out that even after all this time we still enjoy being together and more importantly laughing together. As for conversation, in the end we had plenty to say to each other but I also learned that sometimes, sitting together in easy silence, watching the world go by, can be just perfect.