What if?

One of my biggest regrets in life is that my dad died before I made a life for myself. He wasn’t there to give me away ( a job brilliantly done by my younger brother), nor did he meet any of my four children. I would love for them to have known him in person, to have heard his lovely gentle accent, to groan at his love of puns, and to call on him for DIY advice.

For over twenty five years I have had that regret.

However this morning I had some time to spare and I read a blog which triggered my imagination. It was the blog of losingórlarose

This blogger sadly lost her youngest child in June of last year. One of her posts was titled My ‘rainbow’ grandchild. I had never heard the expression ‘rainbow child’ before, but she explained it is a term used to describe children born to a family after the loss of a child. Instantly I thought of a friends family, who welcomed a baby girl into their lives after losing her brother. It was not however the term ‘rainbow child’ that made me think, but something that was written within the post.photo credit: davidyuweb via photopin cc

She wrote ‘A lot of people believe that a baby’s soul doesn’t enter the physical body until the moment of birth, that the soul stays near to the mother’.

That really made me think. Imagine if this was true?

That would mean my friends little girl will not live her life never having met her big brother, because she did in fact meet him, before ever meeting his mum, dad or big sister. Who knows, maybe having met him she brought a little bit of him with her?

I, who as you know have no religious belief, have greatly enjoyed this imagining all day. I have spent moments dreaming about my own dad meeting each of my little ones long before I did, and sending them to me with all his love.

Whatever the truth of it I thank the blogger ‘losingórlarose’ for the lovely thought. I hope those of you reading who are mourning may gain some comfort from it also, if not tonight perhaps some day in the future.

photo credit: davidyuweb via photopin cc

27 thoughts on “What if?

  1. what a beautiful thought. I’m now wondering that about my two children. It would have been lovely for them to meet my mum. my youngest reminds me of her

    1. That is exactly how I felt too. It’s a very comforting thought. Sorry you lost your mum, that must have been very difficult.

    1. Even though I don’t have a religion as such, I also wonder and assume that anything is possible. For anyone who has lost a loved one I agree it’s a very comforting thought.

    1. Thank you. It gave me comfort to imagine it as over the years I’ve really regretted Dad not seeing my children, or watching them grow up.

  2. I believe that with all my heart. Our loved ones meet the new babies before we do and greet the ones who have left us. It is a reassuring thought.

    1. Thanks Deb. I’d never thought of it really before, but yes I find it very reassuring, and the thought of a piece of them returning is lovely.

  3. This post touched me so much. My son was born at a time when my mom was struggling with other losses, and she was his ‘rainbow child’ – when he died, it so affected her – – can’t wait to share this with her! 🙂

    I found the community here to be such a great well of resources and great insights during my journey of grief – and I’m so glad that you and others write about it, cuz ya never know when your words will make that humongous difference for someone else!

    Kudos to you! 🙂

    1. Thanks for commenting it’s nice to know my post helped. I agree that this community really make a difference. I too have read posts which have lived a long time after I’ve read them.
      I am so sorry you lost your son, there are no words.
      I will be meeting my friend this week, who lost her son and I too look forward to sharing this with her.

  4. According to Hindu scriptures, a human soul is born and reborn in a perpetual cycle till it achieves Nirvana. Frequently enough, a soul may be reborn in the family of his or her loved ones. One of the quirky beliefs that my departed father held till the very end was that I was actually my own grandfather come back into the family. I remember how when I would get angry in my childhood he would just smile and say, ‘Don’t I know that man!’

    1. I read your comment earlier today and it has stayed with me all day. Maybe the way my kids are and the little things they do is down to something other than genetics. I love that thought.
      Thanks so much for sharing your comment.

  5. Beautiful thoughts. I kind of have thoughts and beliefs like that. I have my own quirky way of taking what I’ve been taught, what I come up with on my own, and what makes sense to me from what others express to me….and mix it up ….what feels right to me….is just what I believe. 🙂

    1. I’d say most are of the same thinking as yourself, they take a little bit of this and that and believe it, as for them it feels right.
      I’ve loved some of the comments on here. They really made me think.

  6. I love that you said “if not tonight perhaps some day in the future.” I think so often that we hear or read something at a time when we are too raw or in shock to appreciate it or perhaps not yet ready to listen or take it to heart. Then, some day when the time is right, it is recalled and does bring comfort or help to us. I often tell people when their words seem to fall on deaf ears that they can never know what fruit those words may have in the future.

    1. Yes indeed Joanne. I know after Daniel died so many said things to my friend which were kind and helpful thoughts but not at that time. There really is a right time and a right place.

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