My life on twitter

Do you tweet? Do you understand twitter? No? Well join the club. From what I see I am among the very few who tweet for my own entertainment. I do tweet my post as I publish it but I don’t retweet it at different times, nor do I schedule tweets, in fact if I’m being honest I don’t even know if you can schedule tweets! I have some understanding of hashtags but usually forget to use them.

So why am I on twitter? For no other reason but to amuse myself at night. Here is a small glimpse into the nonsense I tweet. Looking back today I discovered that I am much lighter entertainment on twitter than I am here on my blog. Oh and a word of warning, I do seem to tweet about wine quite a lot.

Exercising lots tonight. Put my wine glass just out of reach. Lots of stretching involved. Think I should make an exercise DVD. Have seen worse.

I said ‘Yahoo, am alone in the house tomorrow for the first time since Xmas’. Eldest said, I’m home too, what will we do?

Lost my phone in a taxi in Douglas, Cork last night. Have you got it? Give it back you fecker

You know you are up too late when the dog is sitting looking at you with a look that says, Please can I go to bed now?

Just discovered the letter ‘r’ on a movie does not stand for ‘regular’ or suitable for 12 year olds! Bedtime.

4yr old at my daughters gym today, “I’ve got a big rash on my belly”… “Why?” “Cos I put a lot of glue on it yesterday”

Watching Maleficent. My son said, “That’s a really dark movie” my youngest asked “Oh will we be able to see it?”

My youngest said, “When I grow up I think I’ll be a teacher, but another teacher  will come in to the class to do Maths.

Conversation with my son tonight. Mom did you ever leave a baby buggy outside a shop. Yes. Was it not robbed. No the baby was in it.

Youngest proudly told us today that old spelling rule, ‘i’ before ‘e’ except after ‘p’.

There is nothing like the day after a night out to remind you what age you are. Feeling 100 now and that’s an improvement on earlier.

My OH regularly says, Christmas always works out perfectly. Ever wonder why you fecker?

When I get a random new follower on twitter I wonder what book or business they are selling. I never wonder do they like me?

Husband and son are watching a box set of 24. “Have we seen this episode”. “no” Ten minutes later, “We’ve seen this”.

Ever have that feeling where you get such a fright you  feel physical pain… then you realise you’re not out of wine after all.

Watching the movie ‘man on a ledge’. Think he must have been watching the Eurovision Song Contest.

My youngest daughter was told today she had ‘potential’. She came home all buzzed. Now two hours later she asks, “What is potential?”

Just found the chocolate I was keeping until later. It’s melted to the bottom of my laptop.

Disaster. My fridge just died and I am so worried my next glass of wine may be warm. The kids are worried about milk and meat. They haven’t a clue.

My kids have gone to bed and left the remote control on the other couch. After all I’ve done for them over the years!

My creative writing class is not going as well as my creative reasons for not writing.

So there you have it, my life on twitter in all it’s glory. I hope you enjoyed it. If you are on twitter I’m @trickearney if you fancy joining me there.
 

photo credit: Ollie the Twitterrific Bird IMG_2637 via photopin (license)

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42 thoughts on “My life on twitter

    1. I know it’s not right or proper but I had a good laugh looking back on some of my nonsense. My eldest shares my humour but my other kids think there just might be something wrong with me!
      Thanks glad you enjoyed. Do you tweet.?I would have thought you had the humour for it.

      1. “What’s potential?” Comedy gold. I’d be more amenable to Twitter if I was guaranteed t resist binge-tweeting all day, but alas I am too weak-willed, hence the birdie shaped hole in my cyber life. A mate of mine set me up with a blog about ten years ago. See what happens when I eventually cave in?

        I’d be sharing this post with the creative writing class.

        1. Aw thanks. I never go on twitter by day, and I think I followed a lot of serious people as I often seem to be the lone voice of ‘comedy’, but after a glass of wine at night I am often highly amused by my own tweets! If you ever change your mind you know where to find me.

  1. I used to tweet a lot in 2008 then I stopped for a long time. I just started tweeting links to blog posts that I come across and want to share. I like your tweets. Great entertainment.

    1. I love dipping in and out of twitter, talking to myself usually! Glad you enjoyed my recap. See you over on twitter, and thanks for retweeting. 🙂

    1. Thanks Sara. I love the fact I think of some rubbish thing to say and off I go to twitter to spew it out. I’m definitely often inspired by my glass of wine.

    1. We’ll have to sync some time! I love using twitter like this. Sadly no my twitter following hasn’t increased hugely but I loved re reading them yesterday. I’m at my best at night.

  2. “R” on a movie means “restricted”. Technically it means a child under 17 needs a parent or guardian with them to see it, and adults are cautioned to learn more about the movie before taking them. It means it has “adult content”. What it should just say is ” DON’T TAKE THE KIDS TO THIS”

    I don’t tweet but enjoy the posts that share tweets!!!!!!!!! Like this one! 🙂

    1. Where were you when we were watching that ‘R’ movie!
      It was my son who insisted I go on twitter as he said it would really suit my humour. He was right, although I rarely read funny tweets, I must be following the wrong people. 🙂

  3. oh I know so well that moment of panic when I pour the last of a bottle into a glass and realise I’ve only 5 minutes to get to the shops for another before they close !

    I’m not on twitter myself but am almost tempted to join to enjoy more of your ‘bon mots’ 😆

    1. I think your humour would really suit twitter. Like me I can imagine you being highly amused by your own tweets and not care if they are never read.
      Wine or drink might also feature prominently in your tweets I would think,

  4. If I can remember how to log in to the Twitter account set up nearly 4 years ago I’ll follow you because your tweets crack me up and keep me entertained too!

    1. I was like that too but then I broke out and I’m getting more used to it. The answering others still confuses me though, as to what to do, do you ‘favourite’ or retweet. I’ve stopped worrying though and am happy to get it wrong.

  5. I have a Twitter account, but I’m not sure what my user name is, much less what to do with it. I loved your tweets. I needed a pick-me-up today. I’ll have to check into my Twitter account, see if it even still exists….

  6. I must put you into one of my twitter lists – how could I have missed such entertaining tweets – and how could you have let chocolate melt away!!! I know laptops are good hiding places but ….

    1. Lists Lorna? I am so clueless but I do love to tweet when the mood catches me. The chocolate was a bad moment alright especially as I accused the kids of robbing it, so then they all discovered where it was, to their horror.

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