I was reading a post today, titled,
Are Personal Blogs New-Fangled Journals?
on the blog of Social Bridge.
In the post the author asks,
how real are blogs?
one question that creeps into my curious head is whether their posts are all sanitized and edited with the real version in a journal that they’ve stashed away in a lock-up somewhere.
I thought it was such an interesting question.
Personally I have always been a diary keeper.
My oldest one which I still have,
was written when I was nine years old.
It is filled with news such as,
“no homework today because my teacher was sick”,
to “I hate Michael” (my brother!)
My longest diary is the one I currently own.
I began it in 1987 six weeks after my Dad died.
It covers first days with my boyfriend,
our time in Australia, our engagement,
marriage and the births of our four children.
This diary evolved hugely over the years.
It began as my counselor,
the one I could tell without judgement,
how sad, lonely and lost I was with no Dad.
It helped to calm me when I was so angry,
that a good man such as he,
would have suffered so much.
As the grief settled,
this diary allowed me to explore through writing,
my feelings for the man I had fallen head over heels for.
Whilst real events are recorded in my diary,
they are secondary to the feelings expressed.
The hopes and dreams I had as a twenty year old,
the happiness of a young bride,
the excitement and frustrations of a young mother.
Twenty six years of loving and hating.
Twenty six years of living.
In January of this year I began this blog.
Has it replaced my personal diary?
I think not.
Whilst this blog is aptly titled,
“my thoughts on a page”,
it is just that, my thoughts.
It is a day to day record of what I was thinking,
but it can never be a day to day record of my life.
I share a lot here on wordpress,
more than I ever thought I would,
but because I know my family and others are reading,
it will always be somewhat edited.
In fact I should probably rename it,
“Some of my thoughts on a page”
as the unedited version in my real diary,
is where I post the other ones!
Maybe I am old fashioned,
but even if this blog was private,
I do not think it would ever measure up,
to my “other thoughts on a real page!”.