Yer man and myself have been together for over twenty years, yet recently things have gone a little cold.
Now don’t get all dramatic,it’s not what you think. I’m not talking marriage break up here. You see towards the end of last winter my electric blanket blew up. I swore I would replace it but the only time I would remember was just as I was getting into bed. Thankfully the Summer came, so naturally I forgot all about it. Until a couple of weeks ago, when Summer left us ever so suddenly.
Since then our nightly routine has gone thus….
He is tucked up, on my side of the bed (as over the years he has rarely found his way to his own side). Moments before getting into bed I remember with a jolt,
‘Ah will you stop about a blanket, sure I’m here’, he says as I get into bed.
‘Ye, well great and all as you are I’d prefer a blanket’.
‘That’s terrible. A blanket! If you ask me they should be banned’.
‘Are you for real? There’s nothing wrong with an electric blanket’.
‘For Gods sake what would you want a blanket for when you’ve got me’.
‘No offense, you do a good job on my side of the bed but you are no electric blanket’.
Two minutes pass by…
‘Hmmph An electric blanket! Come on you’ve got to admit it, you’re warming up’.
‘Of course I’m warming up, but I’d be roasting by now if I had a blanket’.
‘Well who would want to be roasting? Sure that’s unnatural’.
‘I’d love to be roasting. And tomorrow I’m going to remember and I’m going to get an electric blanket’.
‘Well I wont be lying on it’.
‘Really? You think not? That’s what you said last time and I’d have needed a JCB to move you off it’.
‘That’s not true. Anyway I’m not a wuss. No man needs an electric blanket’.
‘Well there’s the problem. I’m not a man I’m a woman, and tomorrow I’m
getting an electric blanket. I can’t wait,’
And so we drift off… until one night later,
‘Feck! I forgot to get an electric blanket.