Keep Out.

As a child I was surrounded by family.
My every emotion was on display,photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ironrodart/9294974456/">IronRodArt - Royce Bair ("Star Shooter")</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-
as were the emotions of my family.
It was here that I learned that words
roared and shouted in an argument,
lived on well after the argument ended.

Gradually I began to shout less,
preferring to walk away
usually with the slamming of a door!

As a young teenager I was abused,
by a non family member.
My family continued as before,
laughing, talking, shouting,and arguing.
They were totally unaware,
that I had moved to live elsewhere.

I was living on an island.

I was the only one living there.
I could see my family on the mainland,
and at times tried to visit them,
but even when I was with them,
I could not join in,
as theirs was an alien life.

I was often very lonely on my island.
As an islander I was different.photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/62337512@N00/2641180065/">apdk</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a
Terrified of anyone who would wish to visit.
So I made sure no one would want to.
I remained aloof,
and I suppose to onlookers, slightly “odd”.
Each day I checked to ensure,
that the walls around my island were secure.
No one could see in, or get in.

I lived for almost six years,
in secret and alone on my island.
At no time did I ask for help.

Then out of nowhere someone came,
and took no notice of the walls.
Initially he only came to visit occasionally,
and never seemed to notice my isolation.
However over time,
he opened up a door,
and invited himself onto my island.

From the moment he arrived life changed.
He took the time,
to slowly encourage me to leave my island.
Until the day came when hand in hand,
we left that island forever.
Now I was free it was time to try to return to my family,
who took awhile to get to know the new me.

Today as I write this,
that island is but a distant memory.
Happily I am still walking,
hand in hand with my visitor.

I am today someone,
who in times of trouble still struggles,
to ask anyone for help.
But the difference is I can.
Those walls which once surrounded me have been demolished.
and I enjoy hugely life on the mainland,
comfortable and happy with my visitor and family.

Written in response to
Daily Prompt: I Am a Rock
Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why?

photo credit: IronRodArt – Royce Bair (“Star Shooter”) via photopin <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-
photo credit: apdk via photopin cc</a

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37 thoughts on “Keep Out.

    1. You know I thought about you and others I know when I wrote this. People who are getting along with normal lives and are not forever ruined by the past, affected by it yes but ruined no. A past we do not wear on our sleeves. Go us!! πŸ™‚

  1. it seemed a bit odd to ‘like’ this post – given its subject matter – but I wanted to applaud your courage in sharing this painful part of your past

    (although you had hinted in earlier posts of something of this nature, so I was not completely surprised)

    as a man, I am ashamed and angry at my fellow men for abusing women and girls

    sadly, it’s more common than most people suppose – if the number of my female friends who have been abused is anything to go by

    I am saddened to hear you, yourself, were abused, tric but gladdened that your man came along to pull you off that island !

    1. Thanks a mil Duncan. I did hesitate before publishing as family members sometimes read this. But it was not something I did nor am I ashamed about it. My family had no idea and as I said I never asked for help, so it seems silly to be afraid to post it.
      If the stats are correct 1 in 4 are abused. Look around that is a lot of people.
      Anyway I am after recovering very well and am living a good life so alls well that ends well.
      Thanks for your very kind words and by the way I love men still. We’d be lost without youse! πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you. I am not really brave. This is my life and for me it was normal. I am not afraid to admit it but probably a bit embarrassed sometimes. I think it was a secret long enough I do not wish to continue to keep it so.

    1. Thanks a million Lorna. I do not often post about this as I always say it does not define me. Today I wrote it so quickly but took an age wondering if I should post it! But it is not something I should feel ashamed of so I decided to believe that and publish.

  2. Tric, I, too, lived on an island, walled up and more fearful than aloof. And the statistics now are closer to 1 in 3 I’m afraid. So yes, Go Us, and we and the men like duncanr must continue to educate the men and women in our own lives to stop and to tell and to come out, knowing that we are here to help and break the silence. Thank you for your vulnerability, your breath of life and your light.

    1. I am so sorry to hear you had the same experiences, but go us for getting through. Thank you for your kind words. Maybe I should have put a trigger warning on this. I didn’t really think when I was writing it.

    1. Thank you. I have been living here for twenty years now and you are right I do feel very welcome.
      That is actually a lovely comment. It is sad to think of others living still on their islands, when we would welcome them wholeheartedly to the mainland if only they would come this way.

  3. Without that island, you would not have healed. It is a necessity to step back at times and reconnoiter. It’s good to know you could navigate there and return with new insights. Your first mate was a blessing and incredible that he persisted. Happy endings. Sail on. : )

    1. I agree with you completely. Thankfully my navigator was not put off by my island and in time I was able to leave. Thank you for stopping by and for your comment.

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