Do you ever begin to write a post,
and another thought takes over?
No matter how hard you try, to continue,
you have to abandon what you are writing,
and listen to your inner voice.
Well today on two occasions,
I began to write,
only to be hijacked by this inner voice.
I wanted to be happy,
and write about something trivial.
But I have had to give in.
Today was my sons graduation mass.
His schooldays are nearly over.
I can no longer pretend he is my boy.
He is well on his way to being a man.
The ceremony began with a presentation of gifts.
The school jumper symbolizing their schooldays,
was brought up to the altar,
among other gifts.
Lastly a lit candle was carried up,
by two parents.
It symbolized their daughter,
who had died just after Christmas,
and had not lived to see her graduation.
She was seventeen.
It was a huge wake up call to me.
My fine strong healthy son,
was in that church,
as happy as could be.
He was saying Good bye to his schooldays,
and hello to his future.
I came home and because of those brave parents,
I decided I would not dwell on my feelings of loss,
as they were pathetic next to what they must live with.
I would definitely write something funny.
A good laugh was required.
I turned on my laptop and that thought left me.
This laptop I use, previously belonged to my daughter.
The screensaver is a photograph of three girls.
My daughter and two of her friends,
at a music festival last August.
They are laughing heartily and obviously having a ball.
Three months later one of those girls,
died suddenly whilst at work.
My daughter was with her.
Sudden adult death was the cause.
She was nineteen.
Today’s experiences have changed my mood.
I no longer feel such a sense of loss.
Instead I feel so lucky.
My children are well,
and have a whole future ahead of them.
I have had such fun rearing them.
I will not look back mournfully.
I will look forward to all that lies ahead.
And tonight when they say “Good night”,
I will hug them a little tighter than usual,
and spare a thought,
for those parents not as lucky as I.