My Life, A Dream That Didn’t Come True.

As a child I dreamed of being a mom,
to eight children.
I never really thought about the dad.small_2715436546
In fact when I played with the boy next door,
He got to be the dad,
and in the game that meant he went to work,
(around the side of the house),
and spent hours there,
waiting for me to tell him it was time to come home!

When I got older,
I dreamed of making the Olympics.
Every spare minute I trained,
in and out of the pool.
School was something I did to keep my parents happy.

As a teenager I did not dream of what I would do after finishing school.
I didn’t have to.
I knew without any doubt that I would be a nurse.

When I was nursing my Dad got sick.
He got motor neurone disease.
His illness didn’t stop me dreaming of the day,
he and mom would see me graduate.

During this time,
I went on holidays and met my future.
Even in the early days,
I did not dream of what lay ahead for us.
I didn’t have to.
Once again I had no doubt,
he and I would last the course.small_2970191269

I did however dream,
that my dad would walk me down the aisle.
I dreamed of him,
holding my children in his arms.
I could imagine his pride.

The years have passed,
and as I reflect on my life to date,
I can see that most of my dreams did not came true.

I do not have eight children.
I did not make the Olympics,
My dad did not get to see me graduate as a nurse,
nor did he see me married.
He has never met any of my four children.

However in my life,
I have a partner I love,( most days).small__5842418865
friends that others envy,
and four amazing children,
who are my reason to breathe.

I have had very dark days,
and dreams that never came true.
but now I can say,
with a happy heart,
I am living a life,
I could never have dreamed of!

photo credit: mia3mom via photopin cc
photo credit: Wicked Cool via photopin cc
photo credit: Christine ™ via photopin cc

29 thoughts on “My Life, A Dream That Didn’t Come True.

  1. Hhmm, even when a wee girl, you exhibited the “wifely” behaviour commonly seen when a man and woman live together – bossing that poor wee boy around 😆

    1. ha ha. Years of practice. Ask my husband. I can boss with just a look now! That’s why everyone thinks he is so nice and I am such a bitch.

  2. Why do you have to write such lovely things when i don’t have it in me to just like it and move on without saying something snarky?!! Grrrrrrr…….

    You can tell a lot about a person by the sort of dreams they have for themselves as youngsters. Yours were lofty and worthy of trying to acheive! I’m sorry that some of yours dreams didn’t come true, but happy that others have. Oh, and I wasted many hours of my life on the sife of the house and in another room waiting to be told I could come home playing house too! Lol.

    1. Oh wow. I think that is the nicest comment you have ever given me! Ha ha, I definitely would have had the measure of you in my early days…. lamb to the slaughter.

  3. Reblogged this on My thoughts on a page. and commented:

    It’s a busy week and my youngest is celebrating becoming a teenager. However just in case you are missing me here is a very old post I like, written before many of you began to follow me, which I hope you enjoy. It’s written the way I used to write all my posts, as if I was speaking instead of writing an essay! I hope you enjoy it.

    1. Yes I re read it and thought how funny life is, and how sometimes what we can never imagine is what is most wonderful. Thank you I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  4. It is funny how our lives never end up like our daydreams. I wanted to be a veterinarian, a rodeo rider or a ranch hand. Go figure.

    1. I laughed when I read this, did you come close to any of them? Of course with the parakeet you are getting near ‘vet’. (did you get it yet?)

      1. I actually learned to be a farrier while in high school. Shoeing horses and ponies was fun but I did not have enough weight behind me to do well so I only worked on my own. I have doctored and nursed many creatures over the years: Parakeets, a frog, kittens, dogs, puppies and of course children. My grades in school would have held me from going to vet school alone but life happened all over me and all my dreams evaporated after the rape and raising kids. (You don’t do well in school when you live abused.) I had an aunt that nurtured the little writer in me so I have had some success at that over time and actually got paid for it. 🙂

  5. I guess it does not matter that certain dreams don’t come true as life takes a different turn and some of those dreams would no longer fit into our happy life. Some of them of course (like the one re your dad) would be nice to see come true…

    1. I think you summed it up perfectly. Some of those dreams would certainly not fit into our lives, but yes some would have been lovely. I wonder do many get what they planned.

  6. We think we can plan our lives down to the minute, but we are young when we have those dreams, and that is good. I too thought I’d have many children, but I had only three. I thought my children would all live to be old, but one of them said good-bye to this world at age 26. I thought my grandmothers, my greatest role models, would live forever. I thought time would go more slowly, but father time must have been in a hurry. I thought I could change the world, and rid it of all evil – we all know where that one ended up. But it isn’t really all that negative, except for losing a son. My life has moved in ways I never dreamed, and that is very good.

    1. Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear about your son. My eldest is almost 24 and I know they are still very much children still. How long ago did you lose him? My friend is picking up the pieces after losing her 13 year old. Life is certainly not what we planned, but losing a child is life changing.
      I am intrigued to hear you still have a positive view of life, my friend will be glad to hear that. Thank you.

      1. I am sorry to hear of your friend’s loss. It is so hard to think you will never again, hug your child, or hear them laugh, or any of the things we take for granted. Please hug your friend often. Hugs say what words cannot. Your friend is no longer the person you once knew; she has changed in ways you may not see, but the changes are there, none the less. Most importantly, never hesitate to talk about her child, make her tell you things she remembers, things that made her laugh, and so on. ALWAYS remember her child’s birthday. The greatest fear a parent who has lost a child is that everyone will forget him/her. Let her know you haven’t forgotten. The pain never goes away, you just learn to live with it.
        It’s been ten years since Greg graced our lives. Please check out my post Happy Birthday Bear.

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