I Do Not Feel Your Grief!

Anyone who read yesterdays blog,
will know we had a very sad day.small__5025870260
Our dog has gone to chase rabbits,
on that farm in the sky.
After all the upset and drama,
we are now left quiet and a bit empty.
My youngest daughter is devastated,
my husband marginally upset.

But it has got me thinking.
In our family we have six personalities.
Each one of us deals with upset and sadness differently.
From my youngest who wears her heart on her sleeve,
and is not afraid to cry (loudly),
a lot like her mum!
to my husband of over twenty years,
who I saw shed a few tears for the first time last year.

These differences in our reactions to life’s issues,
were made evident to me many years ago when I miscarried.
Of course I was very upset and so was my husband.
Time went by and he recovered,
quite quickly if I am to be honest.
I took longer but as I have said before,
time is a great healer,
and soon I too began to feel better.

One evening our local priest called.
My husband has a huge interest in GAA,small__779806745
which is our national sports of hurling and gaelic football.
This priest was hoping to recruit him,
to help teach the local youths.

A cup of tea was offered and they were off,
talking in great detail about matches played back who knows when,
and amazing goals scored and poor refereeing decisions etc.
GAA is not a passion I share and it was barely noticed when I left.
After a while I returned to remove the cups etc.
They stopped talking and the priest said,
I believe you had your own loss recently, I’m very sorry.”
Before I could say a word my husband replied,
I know Father, it was terrible, we were beaten in the first round of the championships!

The priest looked at my husband,
and then at me.
No one spoke for a moment, then I said to my husband,
Actually I think he was referring to the miscarriage!”
My husband was mortified.
“Oh thank you Father, that was terrible too” he said.

So by this and many other examples,
I have learned over the years,
that whilst we all have good and bad days,
different events mean more to some of us than others.
Of course my husband is aware of our grief today,
but may not really share its depth with us.
Equally, if Cork do not make it to the All Ireland Final in September,
I must be honest,
I may not share his grief either!
To each their own.

photo credit: filin ilia – aliyo.hu via photopin cc
photo credit: Kman999 via photopin cc

21 thoughts on “I Do Not Feel Your Grief!

  1. When it comes to the loss of a pet, many people do not understand, even those who have them directly in their lives. For the rest of us who are not like that, who are deeply moved by the existence of these wonderful loving creatures, this is a great loss to you and your family. But I bet your husband is just one of those people (men usually) who avoid feeling too deeply and shove all these things deep down to be ignored. I hope you can spend some time right now with people and your children, who understand your grief.

    1. Thanks for your kind thoughts. I am being well looked after I assure you. He even made dinner today!I’ve been reading your blog. Hope what ever choice you make in life you are as lucky.

    1. Ha ha. I am tired of misery so was trying to put a bit of humor in it. I’m fine. A bit more upset than I thought I would be but am good. Thanks a mil. Enjoyed your posts, Cheered me up no end.

  2. God love your husband! That was funny – I’m sure it wasn’t funny at the time but it sure shows that sometimes people’s heads aren’t where we think they are.
    My sympathies about your dog. We just made the decision today to put our dog down next Sunday. My sister-in-law is a vet and she will come to the house and do it here and then take our girlie away to be cremated. It’s very sad to think about.

    1. Thanks a mil. I do not envy you this coming week. The waiting was awful and yet lovely to still have her. I was sick of grief though so even though I felt sad I did not want to do a sad post. I laughed so much the night he made that comment. I still find it funny. Best wishes for next week

    1. Thanks so much me yankie pal! Sounds a bit rude actually now I see it written down! I didn’t think you would mention prayer after what I missed yesterday. ha ha!

    1. Thanks a million. He did try to feel our grief though! I think he is now counting the days until we all move on. Thanks for reading.

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