For as long as I can remember I have been a fighter.
I fought with my brothers and sisters,
I fought with my parents,teachers and friends.
I hated rules and conformity,
I did not wish to follow a leader.
When I was a teenager life was hard for me,
and my family never knew.
What they saw was extreme anger.
Regularly I heard,
“If you were up North, you’d be throwing bombs!”.
( a reference to the troubles in Northern Ireland)
However my fighting nature has probably saved me.
I fought back against the one who stole my childhood,
and I fought back against sadness and grief when my Dad died.
I was strong.
Yet over time I was tiring.
I had managed alone for so long,
I did not know how to ask for help.
And my family were probably fed up trying.
Luckily for me,
someone chanced my way and changed my world.
Slowly but surely his quiet ways,
managed to put out the flames of anger.
Although some days he may disagree!
Because of the way I structure my writing,
many think that what I write on my blog is meant to be poetry.
Well it isn’t, and I am too stubborn to change to a more formal sentence structure.
So today I am doing something I have never done before.
I really am posting a poem.
Here it is just for my fire extinguisher!
No matter what the issue,
sometimes major, often minor.
I would rather die a death,
than seek assistance from another.
Sometimes, no one knows I’m battling,
It’s a fight within my mind.
Sometimes it’s fairly obvious,
but always help would be declined.
There were times within my life,
that my troubles overwhelmed,
and still I soldiered on alone,
despite love of family and friends.
It has taken someone special,
to walk with me in sinking sand,
and not ask or offer help,
but just hold me by the hand.
To quietly take over,
and relieve the hurt and pain,
then casually walk onward,
and never mention it again
Do I thank you? Do I hell!
Why would I after all,
Because I’m okay, I can manage,
If I needed help I’d call.