Tell us about a journey — whether a physical trip you took, or an emotional one.
Twenty one years ago,
I began to incubate the egg that was she.
I was filled with great joy, wonder, fear, and love.
When she eventually entered our nest,
we felt so complete.
Our nest was warmed by her presence.
Those early years of mothering,
were the best and worst years of my life.
The love I felt was overwhelming.
Frustration and exhaustion came in equal measure.
As she grew so too did our wonder,
was there ever a child as clever?
All too soon I was expected to begin to push her out.
Everyone was going to playschool.
I held on as long as I could,
but for both of us it was time.
She walked away and I was left behind.
But all did not go smoothly.
“Separation anxiety” was what they called it.
She was missing me was what I called it.
I was holding her too tight,
it was time to help her let go.
So with a breaking heart I gently pushed and she was gone.
That push was for me the beginning of the end.
For my baby bird it was the start of everything.
What transformations occurred within a few short years!
In no time at all,
she was taking up more space in our nest than I was.
A beautiful young lady filling every room,
with personality, sunshine and perfume.
These were the days where she tested me most.
Yet these were also the days that brought us even closer.
My baby grew up.
However it was becoming clear,
that for her the nest was getting small.
The sights and sounds of far away places were luring her away.
It was only a matter of time.
We looked on helpless as we watched her dreaming.
A sickness and dread inside my head.
Waiting for the announcement she was going.
Yet on other days I could smile proudly,
I had done my job, she was ready.
And so it came.
in what seemed like moments after telling us
the destination of her dreams,
she spread her wings.
She was gone.
Her room now empty, her perfume lingering on awhile.
And just like many mothers before me,
I am left in my empty nest,
The joy, fears, frustrations, pride, anger and exhaustion,
that have gone into the past twenty one years.
So many emotions sometimes changing in a moment.
But always one constant.
So tonight as I write this I can tell you,
I feel just two of those.
One is obviously love.
And the other grief.
Together I think they perfectly sum up the journey that is parenthood.
To read about other journeys go to : http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/05/26/daily-prompt-journey/