My thoughts on a page.

As we approach St Patricks Day,
I am reading more and more blogs,
with “famous Irish Toasts” etc.
I live and drink here in Ireland,
and can safely say,
I’ve never used any of them.

However I do realize,
that we have developed,
a unique way of speaking at times,
especially if we are relaxed,
and in familiar company.

So I will now try,
to better equip you,
to join in with your Irish friends,
on St Patricks Day.

Different regions of Ireland,
will have different common expressions,
I have taken liberties and mixed them,
for better effect here.

Dictionary.

Greetings.
“How are ya?”,
“Hows the goin?”
“Hi, Any crack?”
“Whats the story Rory?”

Terms of loathing.
“He’s an awful eejet”
“He’s a pain in the arse”
“He’s a real Gobshite”
“He’s a right Fecker”.
“She’s an awful whinger”.
“She’s an aul cow”
“She’s some bitch”

Pregnancy and birth.
“She’s up the duff”
“She has a bun in the oven”
“Was it a boy or a child?”

Commonly used expresions
“Jaysus”
“For Fecks sake”
“Christ Almighty”

When you mean “no chance”
“I will in me arse!
“I will ye!”
“Right!”

Other expressions?
“go on away with ye!” ( Are you joking?)
“are you for real?”
“she didn’t get that from the water”
(she’s like her mother/father)
“I’ll burst ye” (I’ll kill you)
“are you thick or what?” ( I cant believe you dont understand).

If we’re hungry,
“I could eat the lamb of God”
“I could eat the leg of a scabby child”
“my stomach is roarin”
“I feel like my throats been cut”

If your not the brightest,
“that fella is always sucking the hind tit” ( always used by my mother!)
“Not the full picnic”
“Away with the fairies”

If someone cries easily
“her bladder is up to her eyeballs!”
If you have gossip
“come here I want ye”
“wait til I tell ye”.

So now we can see these and others in action.
These are conversations that could be real… but aren’t!j

Sean: Hi Johnny, “hows it going?”.
Johnny: Good Sean boy. Any crack?
Sean : Jaysus no, nothing happenin. And you?
Johnny : No, heard that feckin eejet Jack, has Mary up the duff.
Sean : He’s an awful gobshite that fella. If she was my sister I’d break his face.
Johnny: Ye. Shes cracked about him though.
Sean: She’s not so bright, God love her.
Johnny : Her ma is loosin the plot over it.
Sean : Ah her ma’s a mad one too.:
Johnny: Oh and thanks for giving me the nod bout that job. Fair play to ye.
Sean : Not a bother. Did ye get it?
Johnny : I did ye!
Sean : Aw not to worry. Were you disappointed?
Johnny : I was in me arse!
Sean : Ah good. I’m gone.
Johnny : Right, See ya.

Mary; How are ye June?
June: Hi Mary.Hows things?
Mary : Not so bad. Did ye hear me news?
June: I heard. Congratulations, are ye thrilled?
Mary : Ah I am really. I’m mad about Jack.
June :He’s some looker, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crisps!
Mary : I know, he’s gorgeous. I’d smoother me mother for him.
June : ye too right.
Mary : You still with Sean?
June : No chance. That fecker. I wouldn’t be seen dead with him.
Mary : Sorry to hear that, but he really was thick as a brick, wasn’t he?
June : Definitely! Not the sharpest tool in the box. I hated his ma too. She was a right oul cow.
Mary; Ye she was hard goin alright. And the state of her. Jesus she thinks shes 20!
June : I know… she wouldn’t tear at the plucking! She must be 100 I’d say, (ha ha)
Mary : Do you fancy a coffee, or a bite to eat?
June : I’d love it, I could eat the hind leg of a donkey I’m so hungry.
Mary : Since I got preggers I’m eatin for Ireland.
June : Will we go into “Julias caff”
Mary : We will ye! Even the flies leave that place!
June : We’ll head to Bewleys so.
Mary : Great. Listen I’ve to get some dosh so I’ll meet ye there.
June : k so. See ya.

So there you have it.
Your more than equipped to come visit us now,
and to join in our conversations!
We can speak English correctly,
but it’s much more entertaining,
speaking it our way.

Go Raibh mile maith agaibh,
Slan agus beannacht!

A thousand thanks,
bye and God Bless!

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