Mothers lie every day.
They lie to their partners.
“Oh darling, this old thing is not new, I got in on sale a year ago!”
Lies! You bought it yesterday, brand new, and it cost way too much!.
“Do I know where your favourite t-shirt is?.
Sorry darling, haven’t seen it, maybe its in the wash basket?”.
Lies! You binned it weeks ago!
They lie to their children,
“I was very good in school”,
“I will know if your telling the truth, just by looking at you!”.
“If you eat your veg you will grow up big and strong”.
They also lie to each other.
“My baby sleeps all night”
“My baby began to walk at 8 months”
“My baby is always happy”
“I found breast feeding so natural”
“My body just popped back into shape”.
“I was back in my jeans within a week”.
“I have never been happier”.
When we have our first child we believe we have become part of a new gang.
We are bonded.
It doesn’t occur to us they would mislead us.
Don’t be fooled.
Mothers love to lie.
And whats worse,
In no time at all your joining them.
Your baby has never slept the night, EVER.
You have never met anyone who had this happen to them.
You think “Oh no my baby is a disaster”.
“Maybe there is something wrong with it?”.
“Oh no, I think I’ve spoilt her!”.
You are its mother.
You cannot have anyone thinking this about your child.
And then one day someone asks,
“Does she sleep?”.
Your hear yourself saying…
“Oh yes, shes a darling. Sleeping a good six hours every night!”
Once you have begun you cant stop.
“She’s been crawling weeks now”… You havent seen her budge!
“Her favourite dinner, is my home made lasagne”… She eats youghurt 24/7
“Every morning she plays happily in her cot until I go into her!”….She screams until she almost blacks out waiting for you to appear.
You cannot believe your own ears.
How did this lying begin!
Too late to stop now.
If you are a relatively new mum you have still a chance.
You must actively seek out those mothers who say it as it is.
You will see them.
They are a bit isolated.
They are definitely in the minority.
There are whispers that they have, “problem” babies!”.
Seek them out.
What a relief.
You will gain support and you’ll discover you are definitely not alone.
At last you can ask advice from people who acknowlegdge your difficulties.
Thats the thing. We all parent differently.
Some cannot and will not allow a baby to cry.
Others are by the clock, baby is fed, winded, warm and dry. If it cries before time, leave it.
It will soon learn to settle by itself.
Neither of these two groups should share parenting advice!
I remember when I had my first baby, getting contrasting pieces of advice on everything.
Now I realise, I was seeking advice from people who parented differently.
It was my first baby, I thought they knew the answers,
and I thought all the answers would be the same!
As a newborn my first baby slept 6 hours every night.
“Great” I thought.
Most mothers were horrified.
My own mother said it was great, but what would she know.
She only had five children but that was years ago.
Times have changed.
We are more educated now.
These other mothers insisted I should wake her after 4 hours.
She would starve!
Imagine the newspaper headlines!
Every night I said to myself I’d wake her.
Every morning I said “Whoops!”.
Eventually she was due at the health centre for her 6 week check up.
I brought her in and decided that what ever advice the health nurse gave me I’d adhere to.
I told her my ‘problem’.
She looked at me and in a very strong Irish accent said,
“I’ll tell you what you should do alright girl.
You go down on your knees and you say Thank You Jesus!”
Thank Goodness we were like minded parents.
My advice to all you new moms and dads,
Seek advice, but beware, it may not be your way.
Talk with, and listen to others but remember it may not be truthful!
And don’t fret. Babies are a lot less breakable than we think.
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