Questions on life.

So, I’m still alive, just curled up in a ball for a while and trying to make sense of the world we live in. Since the sudden death of Ben’s mum, Elma I’ve found myself questioning everything in life. Most of those questions I’ve asked myself many times before, beginning when my own Dad died so young of motor neurone disease.

Among those questions is,

“Why?”

In the past two weeks, as you can imagine, I, and all who knew Elma village have been asking photo credit: h.koppdelaney <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/16230215@N08/4768222518">Question Vanishing</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">(license)</a>that very question once again. However as the days have passed I’ve begun to understand that asking such a question is a waste of time. Wondering why and raging at the unfairness of life, are natural reactions, but they only send me down cul de sac’s or around in circles.

Instead I’m getting back on track, closer to acknowledging that life is something precious. We hang on to it by a thread every day. Someday’s we wander along in a haze, one foot in front of the other until before we know it night has fallen and another day is over and we’ve barely noticed.

So I’ve started to ask myself a different question,

‘Did I live today?’

And if the answer is ‘No’ then ‘Why not?’

Life deals some people very cruel hands. I’ve had my fair share over the years, but it is a gift, a privilege to be here sharing it with family and friends. How much we appreciate it is up to each individual, but my intention is, that for as long as I have this gift, I will go to bed at the end of every day, exhausted…from living.

photo credit: Walter A. Aue Zoomed rainbow via photopin (license)
photo credit: h.koppdelaney Question Vanishing via photopin (license)

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35 thoughts on “Questions on life.

  1. I’ve been having similar thoughts Tric since discovering the past few weeks two work colleagues have died and one teacher I worked closely with for a lot of years has inoperable pancreatic cancer. Along with a neighbour who has Parkinson’s Disease we have come to the conclusion that ‘shit happens’ as the only way to explain it all. But I do like your thought of ‘did I live today?’ Some days I’d conclude I live better than others. Hope your weekend is going along a treat for you and you are living it to the full.

    1. So sorry to hear about your avalanche of bad health news around you. It can really shake our world but yes life is to be lived and the good times enjoyed for we haven’t a clue when that might change.
      Today was a good day indeed. Here’s to tomorrow. Cheers.

  2. I think the questioning is very normal Tric. It sure makes sense to ask about what we don’t understand. But getting back to living is the key to all of those answers. I hope you are exhausted today.

  3. That’s an excellent question to ask ourselves. When I got “my miracle” I decided I was not going to waste time anymore. I am determined to do the best I can at everything I do. I’ve had a considerable amount of bad turns with my recuperation but I’m still moving and enjoying the grandchildren even when I’m in severe pain. It’s okay. I get through it and then go home and take medication to deal with the pain if I still have to. The point is that I am taking every moment of joy that I possibly can before time runs out.

    1. The one thing I always take from your posts is how well you live in the moment, especially with your grandchildren. I know you’ve had a difficult recovery but yahoo for that miracle.

  4. Thank you Tric your words are always a treasure. It is now 11:00am the day kicked off 3 hours ago it is good to be alive, hope your weekend is full to the brim with good things and that glass continues to be more than half full what ever colour it is RED or WHITE. Chris.

  5. Thanks for the reminder to focus on what’s really important. That’s a great question to ask each day. I hope things get a little easier for you as the days pass.

  6. Great message and well said, Tric. There have been many events in my life, including my daughter’s diagnosis, where I asked that same question. After all the ranting about unfairness, acceptance steps up to the plate, then moving on follows, then living life. It’s not fair; it never will be. But amidst those terrible times, the wonderful, awesome, incredible moments exist. So, yes, live life to its fullest, because as you said, it is a gift, and not something to be taken for granted. Your ending is perfect, by the way…

  7. Life certainly isn’t fair and it’s a cruel lesson we all learn at some stage. I can understand the questioning of “why” and “what’s the point?” of it all after something like that. All we can do is try our best to live each moment like you say.

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