Immeasurable grief.

Sometimes something happens which rocks your world, where you wonder about the lottery that is life and you ask the question “Why?”

You may remember young Ben who I’ve written about many times here on my blog?  Well last Saturday Ben’s beautiful mum died suddenly. A young woman who had been hurt so badly by life almost four years ago when young Ben aged 6 became ill and passed away.

Over the past four years, despite her sadness at losing her little boy she has been a rock for her husband and done a wonderful job, loving and rearing her two daughters.

It seems beyond possible for any one family to go through such tragedy and loss. I ask all who read this tonight to take a moment to send them love, support and strength from wherever you may be. Those of us who share their world can try to help as best we can.

There are some who will say she is with her little boy, and yes I hope that is a possibility. But I would like to believe that she is much closer than that. While we offer love and solace to her family I hope Elma slips her hand into her daughters and husbands hand and walks beside them in the difficult days, weeks and months ahead. That they and her Mum, Dad and family sense her close by, pushing them along when they struggle and that even on their darkest days she shines a little light their way.

Codladh Sámh, gentle soul, for that is what I always thought you to be. You will be much missed by so many. xxx

photo credit: CarbonNYC via photopin cc

56 thoughts on “Immeasurable grief.

    1. It is indeed. You can well understand the never ending grief in losing a child and sibling, now so soon to lose a mother! It’s awful. Thank you for your kind thoughts.

  1. i am so very sorry for the loss of this sweet, gentle soul. i am sorry for the loss to all who love her and who were lucky enough to cross paths with her. i will think about her and her loved ones on my solitary walk in the woods tomorrow.

  2. Tric- I am still reeling from this entry-
    The phrase it happens for a reason is one that often passes the lips of people that know not what to say. I stopped believing that phrase a long time ago when people would say that to me about my husband’s illness.
    My hope for this family is that they will remain close to one another as they grieve through yet another unfathomable loss.

    1. That is such a measured wish for this family Sharen and so appropriate. I’ve little doubt that is what Elma would wish for them all.
      When my Dad knew he was not going to live he wrote our family a letter and that was one of his wishes, that we would remain a family.
      Thank you for taking the time to comment. xx

  3. Oh my goodness. I can’t remember how I started to follow your page but have certainly brought to my senses on reading many of your lovely writings about Ben. I know not of you or this family but am deeply saddened for you all on your sudden loss. I missed a heartbeat as a friend and a mum to three daughters was admitted to hospital this morning very unwell. It’s scary. I don’t know what to say. Truly sorry to read this.

    1. Thank you so much. I really home your friend has improved. Life can change in a heartbeat. Thanks for taking the time to comment. It’s much appreciated.

  4. Oh, no! Tric, I am so sorry! Oh, what can one say? I am sending love, and prayers and every thought of strength to that poor father and his girls. Oh, what a loss….Sending extra love and strength to you, too, as you continue to be a stalwart and loving friend to those who grieve.

    1. Thank you. All thoughts and prayers are much needed. Even without the loss of Ben losing Elma so young is a tragedy, but so soon after Ben is devastating.

  5. Sending hugs prayers to them . So sad may she rest in peace . May God comfort your brother and his darling girls at this devastating time xxx

  6. So sad for all your friends family Tric, I am just whispering a prayer for you all as I write. Hope they are of some comfort, words are very hard to come by at such a sad time. Chris.

    1. You are so right, words really are poor comfort, but they are all we have and I think knowing you whispered a quiet prayer is something that will be appreciated. Thank you.

  7. Beautifully written, Tric. As you said immeasurable grief for Bryan, his daughters and Elma’s family. I’ve never met Bryan or Elma but I got to know Bryan as the parent of an organ donor, as I am myself. This is one of the times when words just aren’t enough. Thoughts and prayers seem pointless even, but they are all we have at a time of such profound sadness for Ben and his family. May Elma and Ben hold you all close in their hearts and stay by your shoulders comforting and guiding you. Martina

    1. You are so kind Martina to take the time to comment. I am so sorry for your own loss. Was it your son or daughter? I cannot imagine your own pain.
      I’m sure Bryan will be most grateful you reached out to him and his family here. Thank you.

  8. This is absolutely awful for her remaining family. My sister and husband lost their little boy last year the week before Christmas and it has been one of the worst times, but losing my sister too would shatter me entirely. My love and prayers and tears are all for them right now. 😦 😦

    1. Thank you . So much loss is heartbreaking. I am so sorry about your nephew. Seeing someone suffer after losing a child is difficult to watch. I know your prayers will be appreciated.

  9. thank you . You are so right field, words really are wretched comfort, but they are all we experience and I cerebrate knowing you whispered a muted prayer is something that will be appreciated.

  10. Thank you. Yes words can help and knowing someone cares enough to share a prayer, thought or light a candle can mean so much. It’s a month since I posted this and the pain for those involved is enormous, all we can do is be there.

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