Thirty years ago today my world stopped turning with the words ‘Dad’s gone.’ A lifetime has happened since, I qualified as a nurse, Got engaged, Married, Became a mum, Miscarried, Became ‘Mum’ to three more children, Attended first days at school and graduations. Celebrated birthdays, Christmas’s and many different occasions, All without Dad. Thirty years … More What’s another year?
So, I’m still alive, just curled up in a ball for a while and trying to make sense of the world we live in. Since the sudden death of Ben’s mum, Elma I’ve found myself questioning everything in life. Most of those questions I’ve asked myself many times before, beginning when my own Dad died … More Questions on life.
I am in a state and finding it so very difficult to settle down to blog, write or do anything. In a few days I’m off to visit my son. We have not seen each other since January 1st, the day he left for work experience abroad, four months ago. It’s hard to imagine that … More Three more sleeps.
For years I passed your bedroom door at night and barely dared to breathe, so afraid you would wake. Tonight I pass your door, as I do every night, and feel a tug at my heart, you are not there. There is no need for silence, no need to worry I’ve disturbed you. And as … More It’s not always easier when they grow up.
And so you are gone. This is how it should be. You, all grown up and seeking new adventure; the nest too small; the world calling you. Yet not too many years ago I was your world and you were mine. There is one moment, clearly etched in my mind, when the small baby that … More May all your dreams come true.
This day twenty one years ago I left home the mother of one. Many hours later my son was delivered. Today he is many miles from home hopefully celebrating his birthday. As I sit here alone and remember so many wonderful moments I feel a tinge of sadness. So many memories, so many parts of … More ‘It’s a boy’. Happy Birthday.
Every day is twenty four hours long, but how many hours of every day do we really live? Today is my Dad’s birthday and I wanted to write a post reflecting on the Dad I miss even after twenty eight years. Then I remembered a post, which I’d written almost two years ago. This post … More This is what my father gave me.
When I see your clothes left on the stairs, hear you giving out about my lost keys, or I smell the wet towel discarded by you in the bathroom, I think….. ‘Feck you’. When I see you empty the dishwasher and then reload it your way, or watch you put the tiniest remnants of … More When I think of you..