Three more sleeps.

I am in a state and finding it so very difficult to settle down to blog, write or do anything. In a few days I’m off to visit my son. We have not seen each other since January 1st, the day he left for work experience abroad, four months ago.

It’s hard to imagine that we will soon be in the same room, so close that I can look up at him and we can hug. I think when it happens aphoto credit: Lotus Carroll via photopin cc part of me that has been missing will return, my heart which has been split in his absence, will be whole once more. What a hug that will be?

Friends will not have noticed how much I miss him. I do not talk of him at length, nor share with the world every day, how much he is missed. Instead, I live life as it must be lived, many many times a day, a fleeting thought will come to me, my heart will skip a beat and I will miss my boy.

This weekend, as I try my best to resist all urges to cry my eyes out at our reunion and again at our parting, there will also be another part of me, a more sensible part, which will swell with pride at the fine young man he has become.

Even though in my heart, he will forever be… my boy.

photo credit: Lotus Carroll via photopin cc

21 thoughts on “Three more sleeps.

  1. I know just how you feel. I don’t get to see my son often enough. At one point I didn’t see him for about nine months. He’s just a three hour drive away but he and his wife are always so busy with work and a very active social life so I don’t like to impose on them and just show up. I always wait until I am invited or needed for something. But that’a a really tough thing to do. Now they have a baby coming sometime in the next month so I think I might be imposing myself more often so I can see the little one.

    Enjoy your time with your son. Treasure it.

    1. Oh wow how exciting. I can imagine you will be of great help to them too. Lovely time for you all.
      The only thing about seeing him will be keeping a brave face when we have to part again. Naturally the misery is all on my side as he is having a wonderful time, which is as it should be.

  2. Oh gosh, don’t cry when you see him, Tric! I think he may still be too young for that.

    When I first left home, I was always delighted to see my mother again, but I used to be embarrassed beyond belief when she’d come running up to me in train stations and give me a big hug in front of the entire world!

    It’s different now. When I meet my mother at the airport, I don’t care if the world sees. I want to cry as much as she does.

    1. Oh don’t worry. That’s why I write. I’m usually a good actor if I wasn’t he’d be avoiding me like the plague.
      It’s a strange feeling to know I’ll actually see him tomorrow. I can’t quite explain it as the words, ‘i can’t wait’ don’t cover it, but suffice to say I’ll be a really happy mother tomorrow night.

  3. A beautiful post Tric, and I’m sorry that you are feeling broken now, and I do think that you should feel free to write about it on here if it helps you – it’s your blog after all (as my daughter said to me when I was telling her how much I self censor!) xx

    1. I know I should be able to write freely, but sometimes I feel I like to come here in order to try to change my thinking, to perk myself up in a way.
      We had a lovely visit, enjoyed every minute, it was only briefly in the leaving I stumbled, but I recovered quickly. πŸ™‚

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