Who or what is it,
that has the greatest influence,
on our children’s lives?
Is it Nature or Nurture?
I am not an expert on these things,
my only experience is my own family.
However I do often wonder,
having been a stay at home mother,
for over twenty years.
Does the fact,
I have been the main influence in my children’s lives,
mean they have become mini me’s?
The overwhelming evidence in my house,
is that Nurture,
may have helped my children,
become secure and happy individuals,
but I cannot escape the fact,
that my husband had a part in their creation.
No matter how I try,
it would appear,
that at least three out of four of my children,
are never going to be,
anything remotely like me.
I love to read,
and as you can see,
I have a bit of a passion for writing.
My four children also have great passion,
for maths and accounting,
and a serious dislike for writing.
Facebook is their idea of a library.
I trained and worked as a nurse,
loving every day of my life,
dealing with people,
and being there for them,
when life got really difficult.
My children would rather be shot,
than have anything to do with a hospital.
Two are in college doing business,
and hoping to become accountants.
Which is exactly what my husband is,
as are four of his brothers!
As each child was born,
I would hear,
“Oh she is so like you”,
only to see them grow and change,
and become nothing at all like me.
At last we got to the last child,
Surely with all the love and affection,
I poured daily into this our youngest child,
I would have one,
who shared my passions.
One who would have similar dreams,
to those I had as a child.
This one seemed different.
More of a blend of my husband and I,
and dare I say possibly a bit more of I?
Then one day last year,
she showed that yes she was different,
she had developed her own way,
but was it my way?
It was last Summer,
and my brother phoned me.
He was buzzing on the phone,
and told me that something “mad” had happened.
The previous day,
he had got into a taxi here in Ireland.
Whilst chatting to the taxi driver,
about everything and nothing,
as you do,
the taxi driver stopped speaking.
He looked at my brother and said,
“I hope you don’t mind me saying this,
but I have this feeling.
I can’t get it out of my head.
I really think you should buy a lottery ticket.
I have had this feeling once before with a customer,
and he bought one and won good money”.
My brother is no eejit,
but as he entered a shop,
after leaving the taxi,
he saw the add for Euromillions.
This is a European lottery.
So he thought what the hell,
and bought a quick pick.
24 hours later,
he was €900 richer!
He returned to the taxi driver,
and gave him a good tip!
When I told my four children this story,
three of them had the same reaction.
A similar reaction to the other people,
outside the family who I have told this story to.
They were delighted for my brother,
and amazed at the taxi driver.
However quick as can be,
my youngest exclaimed loudly,
“He gave the taxi man money!“,
“Yes” I said, “to say Thank you,
because he would not have bought a ticket,
if he had not advised him to”.
Quick as can be she piped up,
“Oh I am so going to start saying that,
to everyone I meet!”.
Once again my bubble burst.
My last chance and it was obvious,
Nurture be dammed.
My youngest proved it once again,
Nature wins four out of four!
Previous Nature v Nurture post.
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photo credit: bananaana04 via photopin cc
25 thoughts on “Nature V Nurture. (2)”
You can raise all of your children under one roof…they all get the same instruction…the same nurturing, the same love, the same food….but they are individuals, after all, and will go their own ways and have different experiences…taxi rides not excluded….lol…
Yes indeed. I find it amazing to look at how much of my husband is in them. Mind you I fell for him over twenty years ago, so that can only be a good thing! 🙂
What a strange taxi driver, sounds like he should be in the fortune teller business.
My youngest has ruined it for me, I am a small bit cynical now!
Actually J.D I had a dream last night and you won the Irish lotto, I think you should buy a ticket! 🙂
i know what you are saying, it is as if each of my 3 daughters, now all grown, were raised on different planets and were born into the world to different parents )
Adoption would have been kinder. Mine just skipped me completely! My husband is smiling smugly though. 🙂
That taxi driver would have given me the creeps 😉 Your children probably have a lot more of you in them than you think, something must have rubbed off on them after all those years of nurturing 🙂 Bigfoot is heading into engineering and looks down his nose at literature and art, whist Little My often has her nose in a book, and Rugby-boy swings between his laptop and his guitar…. Qué sera sera, as long as they’re happy in the end.
Ah yes as long as they are happy. My family and my husbands are so very different it is funny at times to see that they are not like me or my family. Thank goodness in some ways as I was a bit of trouble to say the least.
Has your son left yet? I was wondering the other day. My house is like a morgue. (slight exaggeration there)
I’d edit out that rogue “s” on “husband”, if I were you….or tongues will soon be wagging in the blogosphere 😉 I’ve still got a year to go before Bigfoot flies the coop, but he’s already behaving like he’s independent (apart from food, washing and cleaning, of course). The house is quiet all day now, though, ‘cos the three tadpoles have all gone back to school (insert grinning MM dancing a salutary jig *here*)….
Ha ha. I just re read it. What appalling English! In my defense there was a lot going on around me here as I was typing. I am definitely leaving it in as I would love to have it misinterpreted. That would surely explain my children not being like me. 🙂
What a fun post, Tric, that made me smile. Yes, we can raise our kids as you did and you just never know who they will become…I love your “mini mes” and I love facebook being his library. Too funny! My kids share a love of nature because of my hubby taking them backpacking when they were little, consecutively for about 7 years in a row. We camped as a family, but backpacking digs a little deeper. I’m happy he did that with and for them. They love to read, as I do, and my daughter does share a love of writing, but not my son. Where I’ve had arachnophobia since I was 10, my daughter saves spiders. My son shares my fear, although he’s an outdoors-man, too, and now saves them, thanks to sis. 🙂 Have a great Monday! xx
I wonder in years to come when my three girls have children will they become more like me. Somehow I don’t think so, but that is my latest hope. 🙂 I wouldn’t mind but my husband is so much quieter than I and yet it is his genes that are proving strongest.
I guess the best hope is that they turn out to be good, responsible young adults, right? By the way, our daughter is moving into her college apt. this Saturday. She’s finishing up packing this week. Big changes for all of us, incl. her and her b.f. She’s excited, but it’s the first time for moving out and being on her own, not to mention, a university. So we only hope she embraces it and loves it! Fingers crossed! 🙂
Oh waiting for her to go is the worst. I am sure she will adjust more quickly than you do. I have found the house so quiet and cooking for four is way less volume than six, I haven’t actually mastered the reduction yet!
I wish her well. It is amazing how much they mature when they move out, so that is one positive.
I’ll be thinking of you. Tissues ready.
You are so right in all you wrote, Tric! We’re excited for her because this will be a growing experience, not only being on her own, but being in her own apt., riding her bike to and from school (it’s a bike environment) and all around…it’ll be good for her and we will survive..wait, where are those tissues? :)Thank you!
LOL! Surely they got a couple of personality traits from you….maybe a mannerism or two? I have to pray that nurture wins over. My children are adopted from parents who made horrible decisions! Even though I’m fairly crazy myself, I hope that my unique nurturing gets them somewhere good someday:)
Having read your posts I have no doubt your gang are lucky to have you nurturing them. I think a couple of them got my temper! 🙂
As I have five sons, I was smiling all the way through. That nature vs nurture is actually a big topic at my house, since one of them is a scientist, and of course, everything has to do with that. He makes good points, but still has finally conceded he’d be different in a different home. I don’t think it is nature VS nurture; it most assuredly is nature and nurture. there are just far too many influences on a person’s life, right from birth, and there are also teachable moments that create an influence (yes, yes, BA in Education talking here). Much later in life, as they age, some characteristics from a parent, seemingly absent , often become more evident. I have found that in my own life I do have a few of my mother’s characteristics, despite thinking I was nothing like my mother ;). Enjoyed the fun ending to post.
Glad you enjoyed it. I am very impressed and filled with hope reading it is Nature and Nurture. Good point. There’s hope for me yet. I too am becoming my mother more and more as the years roll by.:)
nice to meet u here Tric…lovely read and beautiful kids u have I can imagine….love the way your little one interpreted the crux of the story…lol….have a wonderful day dear!
Nice to see you visit. Glad you enjoyed the post. My youngest is a law unto herself most days, and I love it!
I am voting for nature. And soon, I will share why. 🙂
The verdict is still out on my 2 being only 5 & 2 yrs old but I have been secreting molding certain attributes that my daughter is slowly breaking out of to my dismay. My son seems to have a lot of “me” characteristics and my daughter has many that I wish she didn’t but I’m quickly learning that they have their own personalities independent of both my husband and I and it is a beautiful thing to see.
Ha ha. In my naivety I thought they would be so like me as I am here 24/7. Wrong wrong wrong! But I do enjoy the people they are becoming. Yours have a bit of a way to go. Enjoy it.