Worry, a companion I wish I could lose.

What do you do when you have a lot on your mind?
Do you make a list and work things out,
actively seeking a solution or solace?
Or do you do as I do?

I spend each day,
actively “not thinking”.
As that worry I do not wish to think about,
appears once more,
unwelcome, into my mind.
I pick up a metaphorical broom,
and just as quickly as it appears,
I sweep it away.

In the morning I wake early,
and there it is.
I open my eyes,
in the hope that by seeing a new day,
I will banish it to night.
But it hangs on.
As I lie in bed it multiplies.
Within minutes my manageable worry,
has mushroomed into something huge.
I hurriedly throw off the covers,
and leave that place of torture.

Throughout the day it follows me,photo credit: hebedesign via photopin cc
nagging non stop,
insisting I listen to it.
Sometimes just whispering,
other times shouting so loud.
Demanding attention,
making it hard to concentrate on other things,
and killing most other thoughts.

The day can be so tiring,
trying hard not to think.
Eventually exhausted, sleep beckons.
But I am reluctant to go.
Because it is at night,
that this worry really comes to life.
As I lie in bed,
it keeps real sleep away.
During the night,photo credit: PatrickYHC via photopin cc
as I drift between levels of consciousness,
my worry wakes me with a start.
And in the darkness I lie wide awake,
with only my worry for company.

The thing about a worry,
is there is really no escaping it.
It follows you where ever you go.
And if you do eventually deal with it,
and banish it forever,
it sends another in its place.
The truth is,
that worry is a part of life.
There is no getting away from it.
Today as I sit typing this post,
in an effort to find an escape,
from this nagging worry,
I shake my head,
as I realize it has followed me here.

photo credit: PatrickYHC via photopin cc
photo credit: hebedesign via photopin cc

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11 thoughts on “Worry, a companion I wish I could lose.

  1. Seeing my grandmother “worry” constantly, I decided as a child to worry on purpose one time every week. I set aside about half an hour for worry– no more. I think of the hours and days it must save me from anguish and smile.

    1. it uses more muscles to frown, sometimes even smiling when you’re not happy creates a feeling inside you which ultimately makes you smile. worrying is normal, without worry you become completely …bare. don’t wish to lose all worry. worry can help you in life 🙂

    2. I am not naturally a worrier and resent when I cannot shake one away. I am also taken aback by how much it seeps into everyday life, unbidden or asked for.
      Good coping mechanism but I suspect I would put off my half hour worrying and then I would be back to square one!

  2. Embrace it, sure isn’t life in general a worry think of how far you’ve come with worry as a companion – know that you are never far from worry as the person close to you and everyone you encounter each day has worry as a companion – there is no pill as a cure I just laugh in the face of worry and it sulks away into a dark corner, will not work for everyone but it works for me. Long winded I know hope some of it makes sense.
    Chris.

  3. I know all too well what you mean. I had a serious bout of insomnia a few months ago that hung on for a couple months. It was bad until I dealt with it and more importantly, let go of the things I couldn’t change. Tough stuff and takes daily practice. Can you change/fix what worries you?

    1. It is not pleasant! No I have no control over this worry, it is a sad difficult one but with my worry is hope! I do try to push the hope part.

  4. Tric, I’ve tried so many different things to chase away the worries. By nature, I’m an “anxious” person, but not a worrier. The things that worry me are things that usually can be fixed, but not right away. i.e. currently my car is broken down, but there’s no money for repairs, or God forbid, to get a newer one (mine is 19 years old with half a million miles on it — a cast away of someone else’s). So, I worry. My job is ending Sept. 30 with no real prospects in sight and no unemployment (I’m a salaried consultant — not set up as an employee) I worry as I look for employment. I’m living alone — not by choice, but by circumstance. I’m getting older, so I worry. What if? Several of my friends have things happen like hip replacements, etc. I have no health insurance. I worry. These things are fixable, but I don’t know how or when I’ll be able to fix them. So, when the worry tends to overtake me, I have to get out among nature and just let it all go for a while. I usually have a darned good cry, and then think of so many others who have problems and worries that can’t be fixed and I settle down. It’s at that point of “letting go” that peace comes. There’s something about the “letting go” part that seems to work every time. Maybe it will work for you, too. I hope so!

    1. Thank you for commenting. It can seem sometimes that life is a bit overwhelming as in your case, especially with changes in employment. I hope it all works out well for you. I had to work hard on trying to let go last week, it was not my worry which was concerning me but the worry of another. Thankfully we got better news yesterday so heres hoping all will go well in the weeks ahead. I wrote this post because it highlighted for me when we do have worries they go everywhere with you even in moments of happiness, they lurk in the background.
      Again hope your worries come to naught.

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