What do you do when you have a lot on your mind?
Do you make a list and work things out,
actively seeking a solution or solace?
Or do you do as I do?
I spend each day,
actively “not thinking”.
As that worry I do not wish to think about,
appears once more,
unwelcome, into my mind.
I pick up a metaphorical broom,
and just as quickly as it appears,
I sweep it away.
In the morning I wake early,
and there it is.
I open my eyes,
in the hope that by seeing a new day,
I will banish it to night.
But it hangs on.
As I lie in bed it multiplies.
Within minutes my manageable worry,
has mushroomed into something huge.
I hurriedly throw off the covers,
and leave that place of torture.
Throughout the day it follows me,
nagging non stop,
insisting I listen to it.
Sometimes just whispering,
other times shouting so loud.
making it hard to concentrate on other things,
and killing most other thoughts.
The day can be so tiring,
trying hard not to think.
Eventually exhausted, sleep beckons.
But I am reluctant to go.
Because it is at night,
that this worry really comes to life.
As I lie in bed,
it keeps real sleep away.
During the night,
as I drift between levels of consciousness,
my worry wakes me with a start.
And in the darkness I lie wide awake,
with only my worry for company.
The thing about a worry,
is there is really no escaping it.
It follows you where ever you go.
And if you do eventually deal with it,
and banish it forever,
it sends another in its place.
The truth is,
that worry is a part of life.
There is no getting away from it.
Today as I sit typing this post,
in an effort to find an escape,
from this nagging worry,
I shake my head,
as I realize it has followed me here.