“Oh hi Tric,
Wait a minute until I turn the oven off.
I just made a few scones,
and some soup, and a chicken pie,
as Michael is coming for lunch”.
Now all that is some amount of work,
but I ring her at 9am!
She will also have the house spick and span by then.
As I am on the phone to her,
I gaze around my bomb blitzed kitchen in despair.
Then I walk into another room,
so I can talk to her without major depression setting in.
She said to me a few weeks ago,
that she was worried all was not right with her.
She said “I go for a walk and just as I am nearly home,
I am exhausted”.
You may at this point be picturing a little old lady,
tottering up the road,
stopping at times for a rest.
Wrong! The walk she does is a few miles,
and the last bit when she feels tired,
is up a steep hill!
She was not impressed when I said her illness was her age.
I am going up to see her for a couple of days next week.
I am so looking forward to it.
However she is then returning here for a few days.
So we are in the process of preparing for the Royal visit.
Picture the scene.
Rooms to be tidied and cleaned.
Windows sparking ( she has a real thing for clean windows)
Floors washed ( her kitchen floor is the most swept floor I know)
Garden transformed. ( She is an amazing gardener).
Every member of the family will be involved.
I only have to say, “Lads, Mum is coming next week”,
and they all know what needs to be done.
When she comes I can then let on,
that this is exactly how I always have the house and gardens.
Whilst she is here I will try to keep it all nice.
My family will equally change their ways.
Clothes will not be dumped where ever they are cast off.
Plates and cups will be returned to the kitchen,
(it would be a miracle if they made the dishwasher)
and shoes, bags and everything else will return to clean bedrooms.
We will live in the perfect house.
For the three days my mum visits.
After which everything slips once more,
and the true nature of this family reveals itself.
Definitely lacking the tidy gene.