I am aware that religion is very important to many.
This post is not intended to insult anyone.
It is simply my thoughts on a page!
I did a post last week,
“Miracle or coincidence” which has made me think.
For many who read it,
it proved without doubt that God is real.
For others it was an amazing co-incidence.
However I am sure I am not lying.
For some reason just thinking about a God,
makes me angry.
I do not argue with others,
when they speak of faith or God,
but inwardly I do not agree.
I can see how people can believe,
and how they can gain great comfort in that belief.
And I am genuinely happy for them.
For myself however I cannot.
I was reared a Catholic,
in a country where the vast majority shared the one religion.
So when did I loose my faith?
I am not sure exactly when,
but definitely as a teenager I questioned.
Initially I questioned the rules and beliefs of Catholicism,
No divorce, no contraception, intolerance to homosexuality.
But I am not sure if I still believed in a God.
However, watching the good man who was my Dad,
slowly wither and die,
definitely did not help my faith.
Going to his funeral,
and listening to the priests opening words,
definitely did not help.
Nursing a beautiful, young vibrant mother,
with three children,
die of cancer,
whilst assuring me that God is good,
definitely did not help.
Tonight I will head over to my buddies young boy,
who has leukemia.
He is a child.
He lives in a family of “good catholics”.
They have great faith.
And I question.
How can anyone believe a God would ever allow this to happen?
I am told to look at the miracle of birth,
see the beauty in nature,
look at the amazing things that happen,
and I should see God.
Well where is he?
I am going to see a handsome, young boy,
with his whole life ahead of him,
who has been hit with Cancer.
Don’t tell me Jesus is carrying him and his family,
because that just doesn’t do it for me.
He will be having a bone marrow transplant soon.
In my opinion, science will make him well.
For me God, Buddha, Mohammad, or whoever do not make sense,
The only thing that makes sense to me,
is that this is nature.
Our bodies break down.
Genetics has a part,
so does environment and lifestyle.
We are all going to die.
I do not look forward to that day,
but I do not fear it.
I have no idea if I am right or wrong.
Maybe God is shaking his head at me.
But what I do know is that I am alive and kicking.
Today at this moment all my family are well.
Someday this could change.
Until then I intend to live in the here and now,
and enjoy every second of it!