Last week I went to a club swimming competition.
It was there I made my big mistake!
It was a fun event,
with the over nineteen masters section,
and teenagers entered.
I arrived there to show support,
to the teens I teach,
and also to enjoy a bit of fun.
In a moment of madness,
Without thinking things through,
I borrowed togs, cap and goggles,
and lined up ready to compete.
In hindsight I wonder.
What on earth was I thinking?
I should be on medication.
For those who do not know,
I am the head teacher at this club.
My swim would not go unnoticed.
Many of my swimmers were present,
and their parents.
As I stood there waiting,
I began to see the potential for disaster.
Those diving blocks were high up.
Kids I taught to dive were watching.
I looked up the pool to the other end.
It was quite some time since I had tumbled.
I began to seriously regret my decision.
But it was too late.
My race was approaching.
As I walked over to my lane,
I was aware of the shouting.
Small kids were pointing.
The whistle blew.
I stood on the blocks,
“Take your marks”.
I bent down and could not believe,
that my feet were so far away.
Take your marks is a position
that would fit well in a yoga class!
The whistle blew,
and in we dived.
I could feel the water gush by me.
I felt the air being knocked out of me.
Oh dear, I never remember the dive feeling like that.
However kids were watching.
No breathing for the first half length I tell them.
So I had to keep my head down,
arms and legs flying,
hoping I would not black out!
Gasp! I catch my first breath,
and it was then I saw her.
I did not care who she was,
I wanted to win.
So I raced for all I was worth.
I kept my head down,
and tried to keep out the,
“help I think I am dying” thoughts.
Instead I tried the,
“win, win, win,” thoughts.
Time for the turn.
No worries it was all about getting ahead.
As I headed down the final length,
I began to struggle.
Arms and legs were on fire,
but the end was near.
Head down, inwardly exploding,
I kicked and pulled for all I was worth.
I looked over and yes I had beaten her.
As I climbed out I was delighted,
I was the winner.
In my euphoric state I asked the timekeepers,
“What time did I do?”.
When they told me, I was sure I must have misheard.
“Sorry?” I asked.
They repeated the same time.
It was then I fell back to earth.
I, who had swam so hard,
using every ounce of energy I possessed,
had swam an embarrassingly slow race.
I had forgotten,
that I was no longer a young fit swimmer,
I had not even been training!
My best swimming days were over.
It was time to move on.
And that is exactly what I did.
I moved on with my fellow competitors,
to a lively location,
where I made one last mistake,
I forgot to come home early!