It is nearly the dreaded week. The anniversary week. The week we try to ‘act’ normal. The week we smile, chat and live our busy lives, all the while distracted. For we who knew young Daniel, will spend most of this week living in the past. Thinking of this week last year, this day last year, this time last year. The week before November 29th. The week we lost young Dan.
It has been a difficult year, yet Daniels mom would possibly tell you that this year was easier than the year he was sick, because even though she missed him every day, she knew he wasn’t hurting any more. He was painfree.
Daniels mom and I have been friends for over twenty years. In all that time we have shared so much. I thought I knew her well. However since that awful day when we got the news of his leukemia I have often stood back, lost for words at her strength and courage. She tells me she now has a new goal in life, ‘to successfully steer three children through grief’. Not a goal that many of us will hopefully ever have to aspire to. A goal which puts my goals as a mother in perspective.
This week, as has happened since the very day Daniel was diagnosed, his mom will stand tall, take a deep breath and get on with living. Yes she will grieve, and she will mourn his huge loss. Her heart will break as it does every day, and she may even admit at least once this week that ‘This is just shit, Tric’, but all the while she will soldier on, supporting her family and giving and getting strength from Daniels Dad, who is equally as strong as her.
My brother, (whose birthday is today, happy birthday xxx) sent me a link to this song last night. As I listened to it I will admit I cried, but it says so perfectly what I wish to do for my friend this week.
This week my dear friend…I wish to mother you, and I know I am not alone. xx
This is to mother you
To comfort you and get you through
Through when your nights are lonely
Through when your dreams are only blue
This is to mother you
My thoughts on a page. 
Please give Dan’s mom and dad some nurturing from me, too.
Perspective is a gift. Thank you Tric. HUGS
Thanks so much. I will do. Yes you are right perspective is a wonderful thing. I’ll pass your regards onto Dans mom and dad.
What a beautiful tribute written in honor of Dan and also acknowledging the strength his parents have shown since losing him one year ago. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for reading and for your lovely comment.
I can’t imagine losing a child, and I can imagine a lot of things. That heartbreak is too much.
I know them well, I have stood beside them when they lost him and many days since and yet I cannot imagine what they are going through. They are amazing.
I can’t begin to imagine what this poor woman has gone through.So sad,I’ll be thinking of her and you and young Dan on his one year anniversary,which is the same day as my daughters first birthday.
Aw that will be a lovely thing to be thinking of when we go to Church to remember Dan.
I will be wishing her a big happy birthday, and remembering how great it was to know she had arrived safely.
The love that surrounds Dan is amazing and such a blessing. I can’t begin to fathom the year before, or this past one, for any of you. The song was beautiful and went so well with your tribute.
Thanks Colleen. I love that song, and Sinead O Connor. The love that surrounds Dan stems from the fact that this family are an extraordinary one. They were so before and even more so after.
Isn’t it amazing who ends up being the strength and comfort in these times?
And I hope that your friends, even those of us who are only “blogging buddies”, can mother you this week, Tric.
Thanks so much. What a really kind thing to say. I really appreciate it.
Oh Tric! I’m glad Daniel’s mother finds some solace in knowing he is not in pain anymore. That resonates with me, having lost a beloved twenty-something nephew to suicide on November 29, some years back. It’s still so vivid but his parents have done a wonderful job in nurturing his then under 10 sibs through the terrible grief.
Life is tough but people are amazing as well in terms of how well they cope. Hugs, j
Oh I am so very sorry to hear we share an anniversary. Daniels Mom will be glad to hear that your nephews siblings are doing well, that is exactly what she needs to hear.
Sad and desperate as it was to see all Daniel went through at least they got to say Goodbye. Suicide must be a particularly difficult grief to get through. I’ll light a little candle for your nephew on the 29th.
Thanks Tric and I’ll cast a beautiful little stone into the sea on the 29th in honour of Daniel.
It was definitely thanks to their parent’s nurturing that the younger kids have coped so well. Their questions were answered in age-appropriate ways and every effort was made to get them engaged in activities that they loved. Music was where they found their niche and it has been so therapeutic. All are now involved in music both personally and for work.
Thanks Jean. A stone cast into the sea would be so lovely.
It is great to hear your nephews/nieces? are doing so well. This is exactly what Daniels parents need to hear.
Thanks again.
this song and this post both gave me chills, and were so lovely. hugs from a mother across the seas, to all the mothers who are hurting today –
Thanks for your hugs Beth. It’s a great song alright.
Great song. I haven’t heard a song by her in a very long time. It reminds me of who I need to mother – and that is Little Karen.
As the week is almost over Tric, I hope that you just being there has been of comfort to her. Blessings.
Thanks Sue. The actual anniversary is next week but this week was the beginning of the end and as we relive it there is a sense of rising grief. We get transported more and more back to those awful final days in the hospital still hoping but knowing all the time there was no hope.
So these days are taking their toll, but as they say, and you know only too well, ‘this too will pass’.
Thanks a mil.