However it is not the pleasant quiet,
that I dreamed about.
There is an emptiness,
which I had not foreseen,
and a feeling of loss.
I realize as I sit home alone,
just how loud silence can be.
My time as a mother of young children,
is fast approaching new beginnings.
It is in other peoples houses,
that I now hear the sound of children playing.
It is not me who is being called,
when I hear the cries of a child shouting “Mum”.
My hand is not the one held tightly.
My shoulder not the one a tiny head is resting on.
I look around my quiet house,
and I wonder.
What it will be like in days to come?
Will it still feel like a home when,
The toys are no longer strewn everywhere?
The dirty plates and cups no longer left in every room.
The hand prints missing from the cleaned glass.
The house tidy and the laundry up to date.
Did I really think it through,
when I wished for these days to come?
A loud bang shatters my peace.
“MUM? Mum we’re home”.
My two youngest burst in.
Sit down beside me,
cast off shoes in every direction,
and proceed to talk non stop.
The quiet of the house is shattered.
Young life has returned.
I put away my laptop and smile thankfully,
knowing I have a bit more time,
before the loud silence comes to stay for good.