Til death us do part.

I was at a wedding yesterday,
two young people,
deciding to make their match official.
They have already been together many years,
sharing a house and home.

There is something about being at a wedding,
which makes you think.
As I sat there watching them,
holding each others hands,
and sharing looks and smiles,small__3837963118
I left the church,
and flew back twenty three years.
To a church in Dublin,
on a sunny day in August.

I remembered getting ready,
the fuss, the dress, the photographs.
Arriving at the church,
and watching everyone go inside.
Then it was just my brother and I.

I was not someone who likes the limelight,
so I was dreading walking up the aisle.
My brother was going to “give me away”,
as my Dad had died two years before.

As I stood outside,
just for a moment I froze.
I looked at my brother and he at me.
I wanted my Dad!
My brother understood,
and maybe felt the same,
but instead he stood tall,
looked me in the eyes and said,
“Don’t you dare!”.
And I didn’t. Not a tear fell.
Together we walked up the aisle,
and he “gave me” to the man who has tolerated me since!

Yesterday I watched my friends daughter,
as she walked up the aisle,
smiling so happily,
linking her fathers arm.
He too stood tall.
A very proud man.
However as we all watched,
just for a moment we struggled.
Because this beautiful bride,
was sharing this special day with everyone,
except her mum.

Her mother had died at thirty nine.
Breast cancer had stolen her from her lovely family.
Yet they had gone on,
their dad stepping up to the plate,
and doing a wonderful job.
As the sun shone on them all yesterday,
we all knew her mum was by her side.

Many today decide to forgo marriage,
prefering to live together.
I am not sure if I was a child of these times,
what I would do.
However as I look back on the past twenty three years,small__496009870
I am so delighted
that my brother, on behalf of my father,
“gave me away”.

As I looked at the bride and groom yesterday,
so obviously in love,
the words “til death do us part” echoed loudly.
None of us know how long we get,
but if we can share time with a partner,
even briefly,
life has been worth living.

33 thoughts on “Til death us do part.

    1. Thanks. She reminded me of myself all those years ago.I am mindful too that my husband is now older than my dad was when he died.

    1. Thank you. Yes life goes on. My friends eldest daughter sat at the top of the church and it was like looking at her mum!

  1. I think it’s lovely that a father is there to support and guide his daughter as she enters a new stage in her life.

    I’m not sure about the ‘giving away’ part, though. In this day and age, I’m surprised there is not any movement to have that part of the ceremony rewritten – since it is a hangover from the time when daughters and wives were viewed as a man’s ‘property’ and the father was being asked whether he was agreeable to waiving his property rights over his daughter that she might become the property of another man

    1. Yes and you know my thoughts on being a wife! However I see more and more both parents walking up the aisle and I don’t mind it. I think if it was my own daughter I would love dearly to see her dad bring her up, and look that man in the eye with a warning, “you better be good to her!”.

  2. I am going to a wedding next month. Makes you think. I had no idea what was in front of us 13 years ago..even though we had known each other for a long time. Good job on the fb page!

  3. Great post once again, Tric! We did away with the church bit- My dad took me into the local Mairie, but was under the strict instructions not to even mention the verb “give away”, as I had informed him that I am nobody’s handbag.

  4. Loved the ending: None of us know how long we get,
    but if we can share time with a partner,
    even briefly,
    life has been worth living.
    True… and I’m a conservative who still believe that couples should get married.

    1. I do like being married, but I have friends and family who are not but are just as committed for many years to their partners. I was never really one to conform so I could imagine not marrying if I was young now. In fact the girl who got married yesterday was still in her twenties.

  5. I think that lately, people don’t believe on the ’till death do us part’ and sometimes i find myself naively still believing in it, no matter how rampantly people are divorcing…

    but this touched me big time…

    None of us know how long we get,
    but if we can share time with a partner,
    even briefly,
    life has been worth living

    Lovely piece πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you. I really appreciate your comment. I got married in my early twenties and my Dad had died young, the girl who got married yesterday was also in her twenties and her mum had died young, which really made me think how we do not know how long we have until “death us do part” Or maybe divorce us do part! πŸ™‚
      I look at my own marriage. I was married with a baby by twenty five. I think it was luck that we were really a match because you grow up so much in you late twenties, we could easily have grown apart.

  6. Very nice post – as always!

    Interestingly, my wedding also took place 23 years ago, in the month of March 1990. And I do agree with your philosophy, viz. β€œNone of us know how long we get, but if we can share time with a partner, even briefly, life has been worth living”. Well said! There are always good and not-so-good moments (no one promises a rose garden at all times), and yet the good moments always outweigh the not-so-good ones, if both parties are willing, able and fully determined to make the process work. Thanks!

  7. The most meaningful and strong relationship is the one I have now with my SO. Although we never made it official, I am his wife and he is my husband…till death do us part.

    Lovely post, my friend and so touching! Great job!

    1. Thank you. It is great to have an opinion from a non married partner. My brother too will never marry and his relationship is very strong. Some people spend their life searching, how lucky we are to have found our pals.

  8. Beautiful, and I echo many others thoughts about the “giving away” language hopefully being outdated now… but the overall feeling of this is just lovely.

    And the last line “None of us know how long we get, but if we can share time with a partner, even briefly, life has been worth living.” struck a chord with me too, really making me think about my 11 year long relationship with my partner. Not married (though we can’t yet legally) and yet committed in our own way. Thank you!

    1. Your welcome. I thought of your Elizabeth too when I was writing this. We begin our relationship and never know the changes that are just around the corner. I wrote about marriage but as you may have seen in the comments I do not really think true commitment is only in marriage. Long may we all be happy!

  9. Gee, you have a way with words! As I read of you replaying yours, I did a rerun of my own. My mum gave me away; something she would not have forseen when I was younger.

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