I have been reading quite a few parenting blogs recently,
who have felt they were judged,
and are unhappy with the judgement
However in my humble opinion,
the less experience or knowledge a person has,
on any subject,
the more they are inclined to be sure of their facts.
Beyond all reasonable doubt.
Often leading to quick judgement.
We are all guilty.
When we were growing up,
Do you remember the mother you were going to be?
Everything your mother was not!
You were going to listen.
To always be there.
To accept your child’s side of the story.
You were going to understand,
that sometimes your child had to stay out later than agreed.
You would not judge your children’s friends by their looks.
Nor push them too hard academically.
Yes we judged our mothers,
before we had children.
Remember the child we were going to rear?
No sleeping issues.
No feeding issues.
No television dependency.
Strict monitoring of internet use.
Our children would know who the parent was,
and yet we would still be a friend to them always.
Yes we judged other parents,
before we were parents.
When our children were babies,
we were appalled at the standard of parenting,
by mothers of teens.
Our child would not be allowed out so late,
hanging around corners.
Certainly now wearing that.
And their hair would be cut.
Piercings would not be negotiable!
So many judgments every day.
We should have been working in the judicial system!
Then the years pass.
And life happens.
Take myself for example.
I was going to be an amazing mother.
Mother Earth move over.
Initially I tried very very hard,
to be that mother.
Then came a very busy time in my life.
I had three children,
aged 7 years, 4 years and 18 months.
I minded two more aged 7 years and 4 years.
That was five under seven.
However the mother and sister,
of one of my closest friends got sick.
Both were dying.
I helped to mind her little ones.
They were the same age as my own.
So I had three 7 year olds,
three 4 year olds,
and two under 2 years.
That is eight under seven years!
I was exhausted as my youngest hardly slept,
day or night.
So in order to remain sane,
every afternoon I gathered all the kids together.
Such excitement every day.
The two youngest got into buggies,
the three four year olds held the buggies,
and the three seven year olds pushed the buggies.
I gave them €1.40
and waved them off as they left for the local shop!
It was a little over 5 minutes walk away,
(they used to take 10)
with no roads to cross.
Can you imagine the sight,
as all those children walked alone to the shop.
Not to mention the fact,
that they filled the shop when they arrived.
Whilst they were gone for that half hour,
did I sweat hoping they were safe?
Did I anxiously watch the clock,
waiting for them to return?
Did I hell!
I sat in silence,
Looking back I cannot believe,
I would allow them head off every day alone.
But I had no choice.
It was the only way I could get through the day.
Before that busy year,
I, Mother Earth would have judged.
Probably even considered calling social services!
Seven year olds in charge?
So many children with no adult?
Where was the mother?
Fast forward fifteen years.
The house is a lot less hectic.
My eleven year old,
has been parented very differently.
She was not allowed to walk to the same shop,
until she was TEN!
I do still judge,
and regularly give my opinion to friends.
But nowadays as a result of all life’s lessons to date,
I think I have grown up,
and am a lot less likely to condemn!
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