Am I “in love?”.

What does it mean to be “in love”?
From the earliest age we speak about it.
We read to our children,
fairy tales which finish with the line,
“And they lived happily every after”.
We speak of love at first sight,
or falling in love.
We ache to hear the words,
“I love you”.

However what is love?photo credit: <a href="">Candida.Performa</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="">cc</a>
Is it the same for everyone?
Is first love the same,
as the love felt by two who have been a lifetime together?
Or does it change and become a less vibrant feeling,
a more content and companionable feeling?

It was my twenty third anniversary yesterday.
I have known my husband more than half my life.
What exactly do I feel for him now?

If I am to be completely honest,
I am unsure of my feelings.
My heart does not race when I see him,
in quite the same way,
as it did when we first met,
I do not wait with baited breath for his call.
I do not act in a different way when I am with him.

Instead I feel that when I am with him,photo credit: <a href="">Adam Foster | Codefor</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="
we are two pairs making a whole.
I do not feel the need in his presence,
to talk at length about anything.
My happiest times are often spent,
sitting in an easy silence together.

He went away just twice in our marriage,
for over a week.
and it was then I realized,
just how much I laugh when he is around.
It was then I also understood,
that “I” am now “we”,
separate but connected.
When I went to collect him from the airport,
I could empathise with our young daughters excitement.

As for love,
Am I still in love after all these years,
I think the answer is yes definitely yes.
It may not be a roaring, exciting, heartstopping love,
but it is a warm, comforting, happiness,
a friendship and companionship without which,
I am not sure what sort of a person I would be.

The last twenty three years have been some journey.
There have been huge highs,
and unbearable lows,
but mostly I would say,
it has been fun, great fun.
I hope we both enjoy many more.
And yes I think it is correct to say,
I am still very much “in love”.

photo credit: Candida.Performa via photopin cc
photo credit: Adam Foster | Codefor via photopin <a href=”

28 thoughts on “Am I “in love?”.

    1. Thank you. I write quite a few humerus posts featuring him so it was a pleasant surprise for him to read this one! I think I’m okay for another year anyway. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

    1. Yes it definitely changes, but I’m not sure is that a bad thing. I was away with my girlfriends the night before our anniversary so I wasn’t thinking very clearly yesterday when I should have been writing this. 🙂

      1. Try this. Maybe you already do. 🙂 Check him out when he’s not looking. See if he still does it for you. Would you scratch out someone’s eyes if they wanted some of him?
        It might not feel like that everyday but it’s a handy reminder that, in with the everyday, contented love, there’s still that spark of fire. Think I’ll go and check mine out! 🙂 x

  1. this is one of your posts that resonates with me, tric

    ‘we’, separate but connected’ says it all

    ‘love’ is two people growing into one – each supporting the other, together a team

    just how strong that love and that intertwining is, sadly is often only appreciated when death severs that bond !

    1. Yes I could not imagine my life as one again. Because despite the days we do not really connect, to put it mildly, I still could not ever want us to be parted, and death is a very final ending. I know sadly you know that all too well.

    1. Thanks. As the years go by I realize just how lucky I was. I was so young when we met and anything could have happened. Thankfully we have beaten the odds, but I think that is down to luck. I could have met someone and fallen for them only to find over time we did not work together.

      1. you are lucky indeed, for that is the path that my early marriage took. i have learned to look for a different kind of love and partner since then )

        1. Yes I also have some great friends who also had the same experience as yourself. Relationships are definitely not easy, and their breakdown so very painful, yet we usually come back for more. Good luck in your looking, and as a married woman enjoy your search, as I can only look at the menu! 🙂

    1. Ha ha. I’d have got rid of you years ago and you could have had a whole lot of quiet!!!
      Anyway happily for him I found blogging so he doesn’t have to listen to me half as much now.

  2. Tric, you made me feel all sentimental, and then Don had to spoil it all!! hahaha Probably a good thing though, because the last thing I want to do is get mushy about love! Happy Anniversary!!!

      1. You’re right, they were wonderful. Very kind of you to say they could be about me. 🙂

        I was unaware the Bud Light Lime guzzler had been Freshly Pressed. I got behind in my reading this weekend. lol

        1. Yep I told him I was unimpressed and there was no justice in the world! 🙂 It was a really good piece though… Bah humbug. (joke in case anyone is reading who doesn’t know or get me!).
          I think the lines “she is brave but does not know it yet” could definitely be about you.

  3. It may not be a roaring, exciting, heartstopping love,
    but it is a warm, comforting, happiness,
    a friendship and companionship without which,
    I am not sure what sort of a person I would be.
    => that is true love. A love that changes you, so that you become a better person. 🙂

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