Most of us when we are childless imagine the perfect child we will rear.
We see children screaming and crying… We wont have one of them.
We visit friends who tell us that their children dislike most foods….
Definitely not having one of them. Our children will eat everything as they will not be given choices.
We see children everywhere eating sweets and enjoying fizzy drinks….
Tut tut, have their parents no sense at all ?
As for allowing them to watch too much television….Only limited time spent watching educational programmes will be allowed.
Computers and nintendo’s will not be necessary…
Our children will enjoy reading!
We have the baby. Reality bites!
Our baby cries! It cries a lot.
It cries even if it is dry, fed, winded, warm and rocked.
It cries for hours.
Food issues also loom very early.
Before the baby was born we knew breast was best.
We knew people it hadn’t worked for, but they were not us.
We would persevere for our baby!
One week after birth, as we cry over cracks and engorgement and other “unmentionables”,
we decide there is a lot to be said in favour of bottles!
They only like certain teats,
The milk is too hot or cold.
They are still crying!
By the time our baby is 6 months old we are worn down.
Solids are the next step.
We are now forced to face facts early on, our baby is not turning out to have adventerous tastebuds!
Eventually we discover that its our cooking he hates.
We rationalize that baby food in jars must be good for them.
Eventually we fill our presses with 30 jars of the only two meals they will eat. (and one of them is a breakfast!)
Time passes in a daze of nappies, sleepless nights, meals and of course crying.
Eventually the inevitable happens, our child gets a sweet. The forbidden fruit!
It may be a visitor who introduces them, unaware of our decision to ban them from our childs diet.
Its over for us.
Sweets are everywhere.
So are people willing to give our child one.
Its all so tiring.
Again we rationalise, maybe its just hard, chewy sweets that are really bad.
And so it is.
The dream is shattered.
In what seems to be the wink of an eye, we have before us, a fussy, sweet eating child, who is sitting in front of the television for hours, enjoying another pointless programme, with a nintendo in one hand, and a fizzy drink in the other!
A Lesson Learned.
Only people who never had children have the perfect child!