Listen up, those of you who don’t live in Ireland, as I’ve big news. We are waiting with bated breath here for the disaster that is looming this week. According to Met Eireann, or the weather forecast for those of you without Irish, the ‘Beast from the East’ is on its way.
Can you believe it?
We are mere days away from… SNOW.
I bet that shocked you! We are watching our screens hourly for updates. So far we’ve been told it’s going to get ‘bitterly cold’ tomorrow and Wednesday. But that’s not the worst of it, it’s to be ‘even colder’ than ‘bitterly cold’ on Thursday and Friday. So cold we’ve no words to properly describe it.
Along with the bitter cold those in the know tell us there is going to be snow. Not just any old snow mind you, but drifts of snow and even blizzards. The excitement on the weather report is palpable. What a great few months they’ve had, what with Storm Ophelia and now a real live Beast.
The citizens of this country are preparing for disaster. In the past few years we’ve had a whole cm of snow fall which has led to traffic chaos and school closures, but this is going to be different, they’ve promised us inches! I suspect there’ll be people stuck on roads for days.
Bad and all that the threat of this Beast is, I have worse news.
There is every chance that this weather may actually cause me a personal tragedy. I think we should pause here for that to sink in…
I’m trying to be brave about it and hoping I’m wrong, as the mere thought of it brings tears to my eyes, but if this beast does arrive and cause the mayhem they are predicting, there is a very real chance I will have to postpone a girls night away on Friday night!
Yes, after months of planning we finally found one night which suited eight of us to go away and it happens to be the very week the fecker that is the ‘Beast from the East’ has decided to come visit.
Such is my desperation I seem to have found religion and can be heard throughout the entire weather forecast to say over and over, ‘Ah Jesus!’ I may even resort to putting the child of Prague outside in the hope he does what everyone says he does and brings fine weather.
I will keep you all posted. In the meantime enjoy Spring everywhere else in the world and think of us over here in freezing cold Ireland, glued to the forecast and checking for snow every few minutes.
If you don’t hear from me over the next few days don’t worry I’m probably cut off by at least two cm of snow, but if I’m not around by Saturday please send a snow plough, or wine!