There I am in the paper #36

Another one of my articles from the Irish Examiner’s Feelgood. I suppose it could be called, ‘Holiday Reflections’.

So, in the flash of an eye another family holiday is over. A week can seem to pass so quickly when we are at home, but on holiday, with every minute used to its full, it feels longer and of more value.

Today, I am rested and refreshed with a multitude of memories stored for future days, weeks and years. Unlike many in these days ofphoto credit: Jon Pinder <a href="">What A Smile?</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="">(license)</a> instagram and facebook, we are not a family who readily record their lives on camera. However, now I am home there are photos I wish we’d taken, but honestly if you saw what the camera says it sees when it takes a photo of me you’d rely on memories too. No one wants to be ‘that’ person in the photo, the one who blinked, looked away or was caught off guard. Except, no matter how many photos are taken it would appear I am always ‘that’ person.

‘Mum, your eyes are closed.’
‘Nope I’ll delete that one, you look like you are having a stroke.’
‘Oh Mum, maybe you shouldn’t smile?’

After years of advances in technology, I have yet to discover a camera which likes me!

I find holidays to be pockets of time to sit and think, reflect on life and discover a thing or two about myself. One of this years discoveries was to finally admit that I have too much rain drenched blood roaring through my body to cope with a sun holiday. Even considering one is madness, but I’d hoped this year, with all the good weather we’d had before leaving, I might be more able.

Day one I rose determined to give this holiday everything. I would lose my bad attitude, embrace the heat and jump in the pool whenever I needed to cool down, instead of lying in a heap asking the time every five minutes.

So, I pulled on my bikini- an item of clothing which is no friend to a woman who has had four children and whose exercise routine involves avoiding anything active. Staring in horror at the apparition in the mirror, I realised I’d made a serious error packing a bikini without first trying it on, thinking, ‘It fitted me perfectly two years ago.’ Scraping it off I squeezed into slightly less indecent bikini number two.  Maybe if I stopped speaking and sucked in I didn’t look too bad?

Arriving to the pool I discovered I’d booked our holiday in Beautiful People Land. Everyone was tanned to perfection and even those with less than perfect figures looked amazing. Where were my fellow Irish? Not a single, white skinned, Penney’s wearing body to bephoto credit: erikogan <a href="">Owie</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="">(license)</a> seen. I lay myself down and wondered how long before I turned golden while plastered in factor fifty?

I can’t tell you how long before a body turns golden brown, but I can tell you that three hours is all it took to be scalded. It would appear that despite being a relatively easily tanned individual, factor fifty is of little use if you dip into the pool every five minutes. And, in case you are wondering, it takes three days wearing a top at all times before the skin recovers enough to be allowed appear in public once more. The good news was by that time I couldn’t care less how well my bikini fitted and by the end of the week I even stopped giving the beautiful ones the evil eye.

Now I’m home it’s time to remember the lessons I’ve learned…factor fifty is not the friend I thought it was, but also that this body of mine has housed four children and shows all the signs of belonging to someone who enjoys life. It is time to make changes… next year I’ll be sure to buy a bigger bikini!

photo credit: Jon Pinder What A Smile? via photopin (license)

photo credit: erikogan Owie via photopin (license)

18 thoughts on “There I am in the paper #36

  1. A bikini in public? I also have four kids, so please let me say that you’re my hero. (I also inherited my pasty white freckled Irish skin from my Lanigan side, so I recognize that back striping. Even as a California teen who cut school every day to go to the beach, I never tanned. The best I could manage was to sort of get the freckles to merge…)

    1. Thank you, I guess I’m either a brave soul or an eejit. I have four kids who range in colour from very sallow to white as snow and not a freckle to be seen, even after a holiday. I guess she’s the most Irish of us all.

    1. Sure I couldn’t be putting that in the paper! For your information we got a fab apartment in air b and b in Lagos Portugal at the last minute.

      1. Yerra sure I was only joking, good choice though, chill out time from now until Monday things to do, places to go, wine to drink – cork or screw cap? decisions, decisions.

    1. That was only a stock photo, my sunburn was red raw and is not on camera! Thank you, but I know at the pool I look, not only for the beauties but for whoever I can find who might make me feel I am not alone.
      I hope all is going okay for you?

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