An ode to the Fecker I met in the village tonight.

It’s never a good thing to write when you are mad is it? Well who cares. So stand well back as there is smoke coming out of this post.

Tonight I met a most charming individual, here in my very own village. This most wonderful of beings was a man who by the look of him, I only got to see his head and shoulders, is not prone to going to the gym and although looks can be deceiving I suspect he has already lived half his life.

This most wonderful example of human intolerance was driving behind us as I, and my very much learner driver daughter, were driving. As we approached a rather busy junction my Learner waited to pull out, and being a very raw learner waited a little bit more and then a tad more. Just as we were about to move on Mr Charming blew his horn, despite the fact he was so close to us that the L plate was almost in his face.

As you could predict a horn blasting at you when you are a learner can cause the blood pressure to rise. So instead of pulling out and passing through the junction, we pulled out and the car conked on the junction. No sweat, all we needed to do was to restart and carry on, except Mr feckin no patience or manners had followed us out and was also in the middle of the junction, within inches of the back of our car. There he kindly blew his horn and blew and blew.

Unable to contain myself I as good as launched myself into the back seat pointing at the L sign. I had intended shouting a few choicephoto credit: Tony Fischer Photography <a href="">Road Rage (Ever Drive in NYC?)</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="">(license)</a> words at him but when I saw his beetroot red face screaming at me, “Get off the f*cken road,” as his young children looked on, I decided my best attack was a broad smile.

In the midst of all this drama my calm Learner eventually took off and drove on as if nothing had happened.

Mr Wonderful, I am truly hopeful, if there is any justice in the world, that you and I will one day again soon. I know I’d recognise you as we shared a look for quite some time. If we do, I look forward to taking the opportunity to repay you the great kindness and patience you showed us today as we held you up for all of two minutes.

How? I’m not sure yet, but I have plenty ideas.

photo credit: Tony Fischer Photography Road Rage (Ever Drive in NYC?) via photopin (license)

29 thoughts on “An ode to the Fecker I met in the village tonight.

  1. if ever I get an impatient driver behind me unhappy at the speed I am travelling at or the time I am taking to enter a junction, my inclination is to slow down even more or take even longer πŸ˜†

    1. I guess she managed to do that alright. A fellow blogger referred us to this video. If you’ve not seen it I think you’ll really enjoy it.

  2. Some people are determined to be miserable and mean and what sorry lives they lead. Can you imagine going through life being constantly pissed off and cursing at strangers? And the poor kids in his car. I feel sorry for them all.
    It sounds like your learner managed it well, and that’s the best part of the story.

    1. Yes your right, and he’d a face to match his misery! We have just returned today from another lesson and everyone was most kind. I suppose there are bad apples everywhere.

  3. I think the broad smile and wave is the best revenge ever! (But how very sad that his own young children are learning to respond with impatience and anger. )

    1. Yes, it must be awful to live with that highly strung an individual and even worse to be a young child under his care. I’m glad I didn’t stoop to his level, but I came close.

    1. Haha. This made me laugh as growing up I’d sometimes say in a rage, “My family come from the North. They know people.” Of course ‘they’ didn’t and my friends had no idea I was referring to the IRA, so my threat was not the most powerful…but I may private message you later as I’ve taken to stalking the village looking for his car today. #notoverit

  4. too bad i wasn’t there to yell out some of the ‘famous irish sayings’ that you helped me to learn last summer. the good thing is that your daughter handled it well, a good test for a future driver, i guess, sadly. as for him, he’s an ass and it will come back to bite him, if it hasn’t already. i feel for all of the young people involved, because your poor daughter was just trying to learn and be safe, and for his because they have him as parent and model. the difference is that your daughter has you, someone who is loving and supportive. i’m sending the american mafia over as soon as possible to have a discussion with him.

    1. I’m please you have remembered what I taught you last year. Beth I will make sure to have my welcome ready for them. I may also make a list of another few feckers I’ve met along the way…just to make their journey worth their while. πŸ™‚

  5. And God help his poor kids, hopefully he’s not like that all the time! Well done for not losing it, Tric, and fair dues! Good luck to your daughter, I shudder at the thought of learning to drive again!

    1. Thank you. Hopefully he’s in a better mood tonight! As for learning to drive again, I think I’d rather be the learner than the teacher! It’s pretty terrifying at times.

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