My thoughts on a page.

Today is number 2 in my five favourite posts I’ve written. It proves beyond all reasonable doubt that I am indeed the greatest mother ever.

My kids are lucky to have a mother like me.

Do you remember all the wonderful things your mother taught you? No I thought not, neither do I.
However as a mother that has never stopped me trying to teach my gang a few of life’s important lessons. This weekend was no exception.

Last Saturday night I took my role as a teacher and mentor to a whole new level. My children are growing up and are experiencing all sorts of pressures, most particularly when they are out with their peers.

So, purely in the best interests of my children, I went out Saturday night with a large group of friends. In a most selfless act of motherhood I abandoned my usual care and showed them exactly what happens when you forget all responsibilities. When you ignore the fact you must get up early the next morning. When you disregard what is a sensible volume of drink to consume. When you enjoy laughing and socialising for more hours than you should. When you forget you went out early in order to go home early!

Yes, I know you are in awe of me. A definite candidate for mother of the year. Not one word of a lie, I did all that for my children.

The following day my family watched in wonder, as a ghost like figure shuffled around the house in the body of their mother. All problems were met with a pre programmed response, “Does this face look like it can help you?”.

At one stage I rallied. It was a Sunday. The day we all eat together. I tried, honestly I did. Now those who follow me on facebook know what happens next but in the interest of full disclosure I’ll share my sorrows once more. At about 1.30pm I wandered into the kitchen to investigate the source of a toxic smell. It was truly vile. I realised, to my horror, it was coming from ‘the dinner’. On further investigation I discovered I had indeed peeled potatoes for five, but somehow I’d failed to put any water in the pot to boil them. One saucepan and a million potatoes ruined! Despite open windows and doors it took hours to rid the house of my mistake. Thankfully my eldest daughter suggested a massive fry, so all thoughts of a Sunday lunch were abandoned.

The day went on forever, but through my pain I continued to think of my family. I was heard to say regularly, “This is what happens when you go out early and forget to come home gang.”

I can only hope they remember their lesson and I am never again called on to repeat it.

photo credit: David Boyle in DC via photopin cc