It was a Saturday morning. The previous night we had done our grocery shopping and as I came downstairs I discovered yer man tearing through the kitchen. His wallet was missing. The last place he remembered having it was the previous night in the car park of the shopping center.
Any hopes of a leisurely breakfast were no more, as my husband became increasingly agitated. He wanted us to leave immediately to look for it in the shopping centre carpark. His runners were on, and his car keys made unnecessarily loud noises, as he shook them in his hand, in close proximity to where I was sitting buttering my toast.
So I put on my shoes, took my toast in my hand and we headed off to “find” his wallet.
Now a bit of background here. My husband finds acceptance difficult. If he wants something to be true he believes it to be so. If I were to ask him, “Have we enough milk?” he would reply “Yes”. In reality there is none in the fridge, but he says yes, because he wishes it to be so.
In the car I try to prepare him for the day ahead, “I don’t think you have a hope in hell of finding your wallet” I said rather bluntly. Not surprisingly he replied, “Of course I will”.
We park in the same spot as the previous night, and began searching as if we are in CSI.
He is less than impressed with my ‘combing’ skills so I leave to go into the shopping centre to check if it was handed in.
As you can imagine, it was no surprise to me to be told it had not.
On my return he had extended the search to the entire car park, including scrub and bush.
The summer Australian sun was now beating down on us, and although I did appreciate his loss,
I was not interested in this fruitless search. However the more reluctant and vocal I became,
the more determined he was, to find his wallet and shut me up.
Eventually I had enough so I sat down and watched him.
Slowly but surely the penny dropped and devastated he gave up. As we sat into the car, the atmosphere was a bit tense and it would be fair to say his humour was as lost as his wallet.
As it was such a beautiful day I suggested we go for a walk on the beach. Thankfully he agreed,
and off we went. There is very little in life, that a walk on the beach does not make better.
We took our shoes off, and walked along the shore, allowing the water to cool us a small bit.
By the time we had traveled to the end of the beach the gap between us had lessened. Once more a couple we walked companionably hand in hand.
His upset was definitely lessening.
We turned and headed back, now talking more positively about the day.
There was even a small spring back in our step. There was no reference to the missing wallet.
I stopped talking and stared harder, my heart skipping beats occasionally, as with each step I became more convinced, that there was definitely one pair of shoes missing.We kept walking, and although yer man was chatting away,
I was distracted, my eyes glued to our shoes, but I said nothing.
Arriving back at our starting point he looked around and slowly realised his new runners were gone. Yes you read that correctly, his NEW runners.
He was gobsmacked. Whatever about the lost wallet he could not for a minute,
come to terms with his missing shoes.
He began to search everywhere, (which is not difficult on an almost empty beach).
He became convinced it was a prank, surely someone was watching us, laughing as we discovered the missing shoes.
He ran into the distance to find a bin in case they’d been dumped.
Sadly despite yet another exhaustive CSI search, the shoes were still missing.
For the second time in a day acceptance of reality was forced on him.
Now I must confess to you all that at this point I was of no help whatsoever. I know I should have empathised with him but honestly I thought it was the funniest thing ever and laughed uncontrollably. I couldn’t get over the irony of me taking him to the beach to cheer him up, and help him recover from losing his wallet, only for him to have his runners stolen.
We eventually made our way, very very slowly back to the car. The sight of my husband trying to walk barefoot on stones,
only made me laugh even harder and him even more cross.
By the time we drove away the gap had returned and we were no longer a hand in hand couple. He was definitely not a happy man,
and he showed it. While I was more amused than I could ever remember being and I too showed it..
In case some of you think you’d read this before, you did. I posted it over two years ago when I’d about ten followers. I thought I’d dig it out again for my new followers.