Am I the only one?

Are your children going back to school soon? Do you ever forget, even for a moment? Or am I the only one counting down the weeks, days, or even at times hours, until the official day I get my house back?

Please tell me I’m not alone.

Today I woke up to yet another million facebook posts about kids going back to school. Like I didn’t remember, as I sat looking out at the pouring rain, that the Summer that never arrived in Ireland, was almost officially over.

As I flicked through the endless headings I began to wonder had I grown hard? My youngest is only days away from beginning secondary school. I am no longer the mother of ‘little ones’. Why was I not upset? When the other three had moved on I’d been heartbroken. (Well not quite, but unlikely as it is, they might read this). Now my baby is taller than myself and beginning to share more and more time with her older sisters discussing all manner of grown up sisterly things. Is she not slipping away from me?photo credit: adwriter via photopin cc

So I thought I’d better try to tap into that part of me which normally is overly developed and find my regrets. I took out old photo albums and gazed at the many baby photos before me. Still not feeling it I read in my diary memories of days I can never return to. It took longer than I thought but eventually I felt it, that sting behind my eyes of tears beginning to well up. Ah yes I wasn’t immune after all, I did feel regret. I was a good mother.

Feeling relieved I put my diary down and wiped my eyes, only to discover it was eye strain not tears I’d felt. Disappointed but not without hope, I went searching for my ‘baby’ to look at her with fresh eyes, as if I were a stranger. Maybe seeing the beautiful young lady she is becoming I’d feel that pang of regret, that desperate need to hold back time.

She was in the kitchen, (not tidying up). Looking at her I felt a little proud. Perhaps all the rain of the Summer had done her no harm. I know I’m bias but before me stood a beautiful, confident girl. She smiled in my direction and her face lit up. I hugged her and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead.

‘How I’ll miss you darling on Monday’.

Returning my kiss she said, ‘Monday? I’m not going back on Monday Mum, I don’t start until Wednesday!’.photo credit: patries71 via photopin cc

‘Wednesday!’ I shrieked,’Wednesday? Not Monday?’ I roared, with more than a little regret in my tone. Thankfully years of mothering experience has taught me well and I instantly tried to cover my reaction, shouting, ‘How fantastic darling. That’s great, I’ve an extra two days with you!’.

She looked at me and I could see by her expression she was not convinced by my poorly acted ‘joy’. As she walked away she said, ‘Yep Wednesday Mum, we can do things together Monday AND Tuesday’.

I’ll leave the vision of my disappointed, ‘I’ll not have the house to myself for another six days’, face to yourselves to imagine as she left me standing alone in my kitchen.

Suffice to say a new countdown has begun.

photo credit: patries71 via photopin cc
photo credit: adwriter via photopin cc
photo credit: GlacierTim via photopin cc

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32 thoughts on “Am I the only one?

  1. You’re not alone. Although I was disappointed at how fast the summer went by, I was also looking forward to getting back into a normal routine. A routine that is only possible throughout the school year.

  2. Unfortunately, I’m back at school before the kids but I’d better not complain – teacher holidays. The summer that never was and a house full of weans, there’s something to be said for routine. :/

    1. I’m back next week after being off for the ‘summer’ . I too am looking forward to routine and especially a house that once tidied will stay that way for hours.

  3. I think I must be a freak. I always dreaded school holidays ending; my mother dreaded it as both a child and a mother and I take after her in the mothering phase too. I see school holidays the normal routine – time when we’re off a treadmill imposed from outside; time when there’s time to have leisurely chats, midnight feasts, stolen swims.
    The weather isn’t an issue for us, somehow, never has been. In fact, I’d say that there’s sun in the heart in the holidays and a sense of a brewing storm as they draw to a close.

    1. Ah I know what you mean. I did write a little tongue in cheek. I do love the lack of routine and no place to rush to, but I must admit a little part of me (sometimes a big part of me) would fancy an hour alone. Hence why I’m so behind commenting back to you, so please forgive me.

  4. HA! I am laughing!!!! Yes there were times I was relieved school was starting. But mostly for THEIR sake not mine. 😉 That’s my story Tric. 😉 (But I’m also at the point where they’re ALL through that stage and I do miss ……)

    1. Good story Colleen! I can’t actually imagine a quiet house but hopefully when I do get one I’ll get more writing done and get time to blog and comment and read more.

      1. Funny thing about that……my kids have all flown the nest. But I am finding less and less time to write and blog. 🙂 Though I love to write and blog…..I love the people in my life that keep my super busy!

        1. I’ve been seriously pushed in the past few weeks to find time, but once they go back to school and college I’ve promised myself I’ll make time.
          I’ve written the bones of 6000 words of a short story I really like and would love to give it the time to finish and polish it for entry into a couple of competitions. (I dare to dream) but like you I’d not change a day.

  5. Oh, this is funny! And I doubt you are alone though few might admit it! I get you, I do. I have only one child, a 15 yo boy so I do feel emotional when he moves on th the next stage, but I also feel pride and excitement for him. We have done our jobs getting them to this stage with the confidence they need. And yes, it IS good to get your house back. I have to wait until NEXT Monday for mine though!!

  6. As a child, I loved the end of summer and the resumption of the school year. What a wonderful place to go each day with teachers who were truly interested in each student, friends that you got to see each day, and the comfort o a routine,not to forget to mention, the wondrous things we learned. When my children were in school, I dreaded the first day of the school year. It meant the end of doors slamming doors as my children and their friends came, and went. No more rattling of the cookie jar lid to let me know they were snacking. No longer would I hear my sons wrestling, and laughing during the day as they enjoyed each other’s company. The house was suddenly too quiet. I loved having them home all summer.

    1. Yes you describe it so perfectly. These are memories which never fade.
      This post was tongue in cheek. I do dread the end of the summer and the ‘loss’ of my children, but equally I think how much more chance I’ll have to write those stories which are buzzing around my head for weeks now.
      I love hearing your memories. I think you and I share many similarities.

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