Yesterday I had the most expensive chocolate biscuit cake in the world. Yes you read that correctly. It cost €800. I’ll do the maths for you, that is $880.82 American dollars £563.83 pounds sterling and a whopping $1,205.53 Australian dollars!
Was it delicious? No
Was I out to lunch with a sugar daddy milliionaire in a six star hotel? No.
The sad reality is I was out to lunch with three friends in a local pub when I bit into the cake and quickly realised I’d crunched on a stone.
‘Jesus’ I thought, ‘what the hell have they dropped in this cake?’
I ran my tongue around my mouth but couldn’t find anything.
‘Weird’, I thought and cautiously continued to eat until I felt a sharp rip on my tongue. I ran my tongue against the sharp ragged object only to discover it was my tooth, or in reality, half my tooth. I moved my tongue away, then carefully checked again. Yep I was definitely missing half a tooth.
My ever observant caring friends hadn’t even come up for air in their conversation, nor had they noticed my absence from it. I checked again.
‘Feck, I’ve eaten my tooth’.
‘What?’ asked my friend, as I realised I had spoken aloud.
‘I broke my tooth’
‘Where is it?‘ she asked.
‘I’ve eaten it’ I sheepishly replied.
Now I can safely say I had the attention of the whole table.
‘Show me’, asked my friend.
‘There’ I said, showing her the tooth.
‘Where?’ she asked, and my heart soared. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. I mean if she couldn’t even see it perhaps it was magnified in my mouth. With hope in my heart I decided to leave quickly and contact the dentist.
On arriving into my car I hurriedly checked my tooth in the mirror. OMG the horror. There was a massive gap where half the side of my tooth was missing. Through the gap I could see the remainder. It was gross, large and black. How could my friend not have seen this? She needs an urgent appointment with specsavers. I on the other hand now looked like I could be a contestant on the Jeremy kyle show, as I had always wondered at the number of guests he has on with black or missing teeth.
Thankfully within the hour I was lying back as the dentist smiled down upon me with her perfect dentist white teeth.
‘Right, well I’m afraid it’s too big to refill and rebuild. We’re looking at a crown here’.
‘Okay, how much would that be?’ I ask politely, innocent to what is about to come.
€800.
Now I live in Cork and over the past twenty five years here I’ve developed it’s sing song accent. However when upset, mad or in shock, as in this case, I return to my default Dublin accent.
‘Jaysus!’ I roared, ‘€800!’
There was silence from perfect dental smile, as I think my change of accent had shook her.
‘Cryist!’ I continued still broadly Dublin. (For someone with no religious beliefs, Jesus, Mary and Joseph along with Cryist, and Jaysus figure strongly in times of Dublin accent)
Perfect dental smile recovered somewhat and began to sympathise. She kindly explained the procedure, reassuring me I could pay in installments.
As she spoke I could be heard repeating over and over, €800 in many different tones.
€800 (incredulous)
€800 (ridiculous)
€800 (almost crying)
€800 (We’ll never holiday again)
€800 (shaking my head)
Eventualy she said we’d patch it up today and make an appointment for a few weeks time. Ten minutes later I walked out the front door in a daze.
Arriving home I went to the mirror and looked at my teeth. How much money was I looking at if that gammy tooth was €800. I mean the front ones were nice and white and I’d always liked them, how much were they worth? Could I afford to ever eat again in case I damaged them.
€800. That was a fortune. What could I do with that much money?
Buy a real crown with diamonds in it.
Fly to Australia and back.
Fly the whole family back to Portugal.
Fly to New York and have spending money.
Drink wine freely for a year, okay maybe just six months.
I then had the pleasure of A. telling my ever caring family that I’d eaten half my tooth and B. telling them the cost of fixing it. I can tell you all, they had minimal sympathy with me and when they heard the cost of repair I could see some of them wondering if it was worth it? Maybe just take my tooth out? Thankfully no one was brave enough to say it.
It is now a full twenty four hours later and I think I have begun to develop post traumatic stress disorder. As I eat, drink or even just breathe I stop in fright and imagine I’ve broken another tooth. With the fear of God in me (there is religion poppin in again), my heart racing, I tentatively check my teeth with my tongue only to discover it’s a false alarm. I’m telling you, I’m losing pounds, as after I recover from my fright I’m not too keen to continue eating.
A good friend has recommended I get a second opinion and I’ve an appointment made for ten days time. I’ve also enlisted the combined knowledge of a wonderful facebook group of bloggers called the Irish Parenting Bloggers who have furnished me with many choices, including travelling to Europe or Northern Ireland, yes that is cheaper than walking half a mile down the road!
So who knows where this tooth of mine will bring me, but keep an eye out, for if I’ve to pay €800 I’m not sure which child I’ll have to sell.
photo credit: my pumpkin has a bad case of halitosis via photopin (license)
photo credit: my pumpkin has a bad case of halitosis via photopin (license)
My thoughts on a page. 
Sorry about your tooth! Or half tooth…I have to say in the US I don’t think that’s a lot for a crown. I’ve been fortunate to only need one, quite a few years ago, but my partner has had several, and it seems most of her money goes to the dentist! Hope you find a good solution.
Thanks Lucia. I must remember to make sure my insurance is up to date if I’m going to the US. Yikes.
I so feel for you!!! That happened to me as well. Except I bit into a spare rib and what I thought was meat was actually a bone and it splintered my tooth. Same deal: a crown. $950 later. Oh, why is dentistry soooo expensive! I’m so sorry this happened to you Tric. You’ll have it paid off in no time. I too am really careful when eating now. It’s a very weird sensation when you become aware of the realization that you’ve just broken a tooth in your head, no? I feel for ya!
Michele at Angels Bark
Yikes, that moment of realisation is awful. I’m still hopeful I’ll find someone a little cheaper. Every little counts. fingers crossed.
Oh, my dear, you have my sympathy! About three years ago my husband had a really bad spell with the whole dentist thing; between us we had an abscess, a crown, a bridge and three root canals. On the downside, we spent every penny of our savings and then some. On the upside, we made a wonderful new friend in our local endodontist.
Best of luck!
Oh wow you certainly had your ‘fill’ of dental issues. 🙂
That is what I dread. Fingers crossed this is not the beginning of even more dental disasters.
Sorry about your tooth, but glad you can see to a bit of humor. I think everyone has a dental horror story to tell.
Glad you got the humour in it. I’ll be glad once it’s all sorted out and hopefully I get someone a little cheaper.
Sorry for laughing but it’s the way you tell ’em!
Lots of sympathy, empathy …. in throes of dental doings and that 800 looks all too familiar and seems to have octopus qualities.
Nonononono not octopus qualities!
Glad you enjoyed my telling though. Good luck with your own dental doings.
I need every bit of luck imaginable. Under the knife tomorrow and just stocking up on liquids!
Have you recovered? I hope everything went okay for you?
The pumpkin kinda made me squeamish! 😏 but caught my attention right off! I’m sorry about your tooth and that cake ought to have been darned good for the cost! I also have crowns…yes, more than one….I always fear that one will pop off at the most embarrassing moment. The prep work they do on the tooth is just nasty! They ground mine to a point, snaggle tooth and they are front teeth. Of course I had to have a root canal with each one also. Now I wonder what is happening under the crown. It’s gotta be gross!
I know that pumpkin is awful. I’d not even think about what’s happening under my gums or your crowns as long as they look lovely. I’m definitely superfical!
I’m definitely a worrier…just in case you haven’t figured that out yet! 😀
Sorry about your tooth, Tric, but I couldn’t help chuckle reading about your experience. It’s good to throw some humor into a difficult time, isn’t it? Ironically, we pay more for crowns here so I don’t think I would mind your cost. 🙂
When we lived in southern Cal. years ago our dental ins. covered 100%. Now we pay 20% which doesn’t sound like much but it sure adds up if the work is costly in itself. Oh well, I’m thankful for any bit of ins. for now…wishing you good luck with the rest of the procedure. xx
Thanks I am glad you got a bit of a laugh out of my post. Over here we don’t really do dental insurance but I’m definitely looking into it now. I’m not getting any younger and neither are my teeth. 🙂
Or which organ you’d have to sell! Such an hilarious recounting of a tragic event! I too have half a back tooth missing….which is also beside the hole where a previous tooth was. The cost put me off doing anything about it….because I have a missing tooth it would be even more expensive. Like, I’d have to sell at least two children And I only have one….. xx
Oh no. Ah you’ve got to laugh haven’t you? I’m hopeful I can find the bucks and get it a bit cheaper. Problem isn’t my money it’s the fact the kids have it all spent. 🙂
I broke off a piece of the bottom molar, the farthest one in my mouth, while eating a soft caramel. I removed the remaining caramel from my mouth, and just stared at that chunk embedded in it, wondering exactly what it was. My tongue has located the broken tooth, much to my dismay. Due to a calcium problem that I have, my teeth are a lot more fragile. Fixing the tooth is way out of my budget, even with payments (maybe once I get the vet bills paid off, I can get it removed). Removing the tooth, however, is also a budget-breaker, as the tooth will come apart into who knows how many pieces, so will require an expensive dentist (and local anesthesia) to get it removed. Oh, why do I love caramels so?
Oh no so you’re stuck with it? The cost of your love of caramel!
I’ll not be eating hard sweets again any time soon although this tooth just crumbled. Made me feel old.
Ah Tric! My sympathies! A month or so ago I had a tooth ‘fixed’. Only a few weeks later to find myself eating that same tooth! Fortunately I caught it before I swallowed it. And had to go back in for repairs. Feckin tooth problems!
Now your tale is not going to help rid me of my PTSD is it? 🙂
You’re right, feckin tooth problems, (we wont mention the fact we’re getting older)
No, we will not mention age….
I am very lucky in regards to my dentist. He fixed it right up the next morning. But it scared me witless. I kept thinking I was going to be toothless soon. And I don’t want to be toothless. 😦
Horrible, the tooth and the price of fixing it. I had the same experience taking a bite out of a bread roll. Broke the bloody tooth in half. Best of luck trying to fix it without selling one of the kids.
The only thing is that I can have a sort of chart and whichever one annoys me the most will go top of the list for selling, might even add a husband to it but I don’t think I’d get as much for him!
Thanks J.D
that is so awful, tric. to add insult to injury, the price is astronomical. upon hearing this, i’m sure the pain instantly tripled. i’m hopeful that you find a more reasonable price –
So sorry about the tooth Tric, but I loved your recounting of the story of its demise especially the part about your true accent bursting out as the true horror of the situation became apparent!
Thanks Aedin sure we might as well laugh about it, although I’ll not be laughing if I can’t get it cheaper. I’ll keep you posted. Glad you enjoyed the telling of my woe.
I feel for you, Tric. Last year I had $5,000 worth of work done on my teeth and this year was about $3,000. Even if you go into debt it makes sense to get them fixed. Healthy teeth are a good indicator of longevity. After years of nagging, I finally got my husband to agree to gt major work done on his teeth, too. Do it!
Hugs to you, Tric.
I still cannot see you in my e-mail. WordPress has goofed somewhere. ❤
Thanks Jackie. I will definitely have to get it done, but I’m still hoping I can get it cheaper. I’m off next Wed for a second opinion.
I love my teeth and I’d hate not to look after them. Mind you I’m not sure I’d be able to afford the amount you have paid recently.
Did you press the sign up for email button again, or follow me on facebook? It might be easier.
I feel your pain, I paid 800 to have two wisdom teeth removed a couple of months back, then another 100 for a filling. Broke my heart to pay it!
Hope your found something cheaper!