No time.

This week my kids are talking in excited tones
about secret santa, Christmas present wish lists,
and even Christmas dinner.

No time to cry.

There’s the morning rush for school,
homework and housework to be done,time
and even a parent teacher meeting to attend.

No time to cry.

Meeting with friends,
chatting with family,
maybe even Christmas shopping.

No time to cry.

But on my mind is,
the smiling face of a young boy,
before he lost his hair.

And I want to cry.

Voices of past phone calls,
sharing news no one wants to hear,
Break my heart once more.

And I want to cry.

Pictures on the wall,
an empty room and bed,
a vibrant boy, missing,

And I want to cry

Life goes on,
day after day,
Every moment accounted for.

Leaving very little time to cry.

photo credit: bogenfreund via photopin cc

15 thoughts on “No time.

    1. I am sure I and others will find time. But grief is a difficult emotion to cope with. As time passes crying is something we tend to do alone, as not everyone is grieving.
      Thanks a million for the hugs. I’ll take the ‘Irish; title but the rest only after I’ve had a few drinks! 🙂

  1. You have again captured my feelings in your post. There is always that feeling that I want to cry, that tears are close to the surface but held back and released quietly alone.

      1. No it isn’t a bad thing to cry alone. One can really let go when alone, scream, curse, stomp feet and throw a grown up tantrum. In public I try to be more restrained.☺️

  2. I’ll cry with you, Tric, for all the little ones whose journey was cut too short. Everyone should get to live until they’re old. Crying is so important in going through the grieving process. We need to grieve so we can truly live.

    1. I agree with you, without mourning we cannot move on. It’s not always easy to fit ‘sad’ into the world around us though. Thanks michele.

  3. Tric, I’m all for crying and to tell the truth I don’t particularly care who sees or hears me.
    The other issue, though, is whether young Daniel would want you crying ~ or would he want you celebrating his life. I’m different to Michele above as I don’t thing that everyone should get to live until their old. Life just isn’t like that and some go a lot earlier than others but they never leave our hearts ~ that’s the key, for me, anyway.

    1. I am a real blubberer, but I would much prefer to cry alone. I find this week when I am distracted by memories, others are living normal lives, so I need time alone to be sad.
      Daniel was all for laughing and messing, but his loss is huge, and for my friend immeasurable. It’s all just so sad.
      Having said that next month we will all try to move on and have the best christmas we can have knowing, we are so lucky to have our health and children.

      1. Anniversaries are incredibly difficult; there’s no doubt about that. I know that there isn’t an hour that passes that we don’t think of those we love who have died but somehow the time around anniversaries is almost unbearable. Interesting, though, how nature tries to help by changing the day of the week etc. Hope you get the space you need ~ and if you don’t, maybe go find it!

    1. Haha, Thanks Colleen, it’s just the week that’s in it. It’s steeped with memories which are haunting, yet which we never want to forget.

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