Remember giving birth to your baby.
That moment when you eventually get to meet the bump.
Remember the intensity of the love you felt, and the instinct to protect your little one at all costs.
Can you imagine if in order to fully protect your childs future,
you had to deny you are the birth mother?
Deny you worried for nine months and safely delivered your baby into the world?
I read an Irish blog yesterday which told such a story.
The writer is the mother of a young boy.
She is married but her husband is not her sons biological father.
He is though very much his Dad.
He was there at all but conception.
He watched the two blue lines light up announcing the pregnancy.
He was there for the birth, and for all the crazy and wonderful days thereafter.
The man who is the biological creator of this little boy is nowhere.
He has never had any interest in this child, nor made any attempt at contact.
Yet legally he is the father.
This mother is anxious that if anything should happen to her,
her husband would have no rights over this boy. His son.
This child he loves and adores.
The boy who calls him Daddy.
So in order to safeguard “their” son, they decided that her husband should adopt him.
The law however insists that in order for her husband to adopt this little boy
she must also adopt him!
She must adopt her own son, the one she has birthed.
She will then no longer be his birth mother. She will be his adoptive mother.
In order to allow her husband adopt their son,
his biological creator had to be contacted. He has rights.
The man who has changed his nappies, fed him, loved and cherished him has none.
The law is definitely an ass!
This story is on the site adoptingmyownson.
It touched me deeply yesterday reading it.
The thought of not being acknowledged as my childrens birth mother,
is something I just cannot get my head around.
What a selfless thing to do in order to safeguard her son.
Best wishes “adoptingmyson”.
Your little boy will never need to have a piece of paper to know,
his real mom and dad love him dearly.
photo credit: Nanda Sunu via photopin cc
27 thoughts on “A mothers love.”
I was reading that blog last night and it broke my heart too… The law really IS an ass. Beautiful piece as always x
Thanks Emily. It is so hard to believe, such an archaic law in this day and age.
Thank you for the supportive words x
“The law is definitely an ass!” sums up the insanity of this, I wish this family well. IT seems they have their priorities straight, even if the world is screwed up.
Yes that came across loud and clear.They are just what that little boy needs as parents.
Thank you for the lovely thoughts!
How can the law possibly be so ridiculous? If the bio father doesn’t show any interest why put the people who do love the child through such a horrible ordeal?
I have heard of many cases where fathers/mothers want to see their out of wedlock children and some mothers/fathers seem to play around with the situation using manipulation and threats to get their way and not allowing the other parent to visit; this happens way to often…
Yes. From reading her blog that was a concern of hers. I think she sounds like a great mother. I cannot imagine being denied the right to be called his birth mother.
I appreciate your frustration on the subject, it vindicates us and our feelings towards the process!
Wow, how did everything get so crazy in the world. Who do our laws and policies protect! Absolutely crazy when you thing if things in terms of this story. Thanks for sharing! A great lesson and reminder of stupidity
Agreed on all your points. This law should definitely be looked at with a view to modern society and how things have changed.
and one day he will understand the crazy sacrifice she had to make, by officially denying his birth, in order to stay his mother and to love and protect him.
Yes I do agree. That is the main message her son will get from all this in years to come. A mom and dad who did so much to protect him.
Pardon my french, but that law is absolutely fucking retarded.
I knew you’d have the words to sum this situation up. 🙂
How’s that for a crappy legal ball up?? Red tape really gives me the shits. Best of luck to them, and bless you for sharing their story xx
Thank you. As a mom it is so hard to believe anyone would ask a mother to do this. She even had to do DNA tests! Incredible.
Crazy law. Wonder post.
Thank you. It is crazy and sad. Hopefully they will get through it quickly.
Messed up…so messed up and I’m using my polite words.
Yes when I read this blog I used all kinds of impolite words!
What an absurd justice system we have. I hope it all works out for them and like you said, no paper will change who the ‘real’ parents are.
And that is what really matters. I suppose he is losing a birth mother on paper but gaining a real dad.
Wow. This just blows my mind. In a bad way. That is really messed up, but I’m glad that little boy has such an amazing mama.
Yes she is such a selfless person. It would do my head in to be removed from my childrens birth certificate.