Today is Easter Sunday. “Easter” what does it really mean to you? As a non believer what does it mean to me?
My family are Catholic and I remember Easters of old. The “celebrations” began officially in our house in true Catholic style, with Good Friday. Don’t be fooled by the name, there is nothing “good” about it. A day we could not eat meat, and were allowed only one main meal and two smaller ones. There was no alcohol, and most shops and all pubs were closed. We attended church to “do the stations”. I remember it well as one of the most boring days of the year.
The next day was a big improvement because in our house Lent ended at 12 midday not midnight. Most of my friends disagreed, but I am sure they were just very jealous. At midday we would begin to break into the eggs and any other chocolate we could find.
Easter Sunday itself was a day when we wore new clothes, usually bought with warmer days of Summer in mind, so we froze. We continued to eat whatever eggs we had left. We always went to Mass, but even though I could feel this was a day of church celebration, it never really meant much to me.
Now I have children of my own, I have developed a real A la Carte Easter. A little bit of everything.
My four children are too old for the Easter Bunny, or so you might think. However despite them ranging in age from 22 to 12 they still insist we hide eggs. So the day began with a most competitive egg hunt, too competitive perhaps as my son got quite a nasty bang to the head. Next year in the interest of health and safety helmets will be provided!
Afterwards we all went to Mass. As I have no belief I must admit I struggle with this one. Not in the way you might think though. I don’t actually mind going and sitting through Mass, but I do feel hypocritical. I feel I shouldn’t be there. I know I am welcome but I feel it is disrespectful of me to sit there and listen to the priest, when in my heart I am arguing all the way through. However I did go for two reasons. One, it means a lot to my husband for us all to go, and two my children I think still believe in God. I have no intention of bursting their bubble, as I have seen the comfort my friend has got from her faith since her young son died. Maybe in time my children will need such a comfort in their lives, I’d hate to be the one to have taken it from them. If they decide themselves that they no longer have faith well and good, but I’d prefer it to be their own choice not mine.
And so we all sat at Mass and then we headed home, for the mega dinner. Turkey and all the trimmings. Again I wondered why? Why do I make such a big deal of an event I have no allegiance to whatsoever.
As the dinner was cooking we decided to go to say hi to Dan. A quick trip to the graveyard seemed to be necessary. All this happiness and this beautiful day was wonderful, but I couldn’t let go and relax until I’d called by. Off we went with a few flowers from the garden. Even though I wanted to go, it really never does me any good. As I stand there and admire the beautiful views from his grave, I look at his photo on the cross over his grave. His handsome cheeky grin exactly captures the happy boy he was. I always feel a huge sense of his loss. We stayed but a moment, said “Happy Easter Dan”, and then moved on.
As we walked away I was struck by the enormity of what we were doing. We were walking away from the grave of a thirteen year old boy and following my daughter across the path. In her hand was a small bunch of daisys, her Easter present to young Ben, aged six, who was buried close by. Another little boy who would never grow up. How sickening was that.
Leaving the graveyard I couldn’t help the tears from falling. It was beyond sad. Two little boys who had left behind such a huge hole in the lives of all who knew them.
Yet now hours later writing this I know what Easter means to me. It mightn’t be the big church celebration it is meant to be but it is a celebration. It is a day we share as a family. A lighthearted day of fun, games, chocolate and eating together. It is one of those very special family times. A tradition my family will always remember. And a chance to be glad and appreciate all we’ve got.
So I say (perhaps a little tongue in cheek) Thank God for Easter!. 🙂
photo credit: Eustaquio Santimano via photopin cc
My thoughts on a page. 
You had a busy (and sad) Easter! Have a very hoppy day!
Thank. I did in fact have a most enjoyable day.
To me it is all about family too, not the chocolate or the church just having a family day.. Xx sending you love and hugs xx
Thanks Sara. I did have a lovely family day, and as night approaches I will call into my childrens rooms and count my blessings. Today was a very good day. Who knows what tomorrow brings but at least I appreciated today.
i can identify with every word of this tric. wonderful post. we are alike in many ways. happy day with your family gathered around you and a nod to those no longer with you
Yes Beth, today is all that matters. We remember the past but appreciate what we have. xx
It always seems to me that you are more connected with who you are than many who don’t question or just go through motions without any contemplation.
I feel really connected with a deeper part of myself these days. I never found that in church. I found it by connecting in the moment as you do. It doesn’t seem hypocritical to me.
Much love!
Laurie
Here, we are very much on our own at Easter, and I find it good to have rituals to give the weekend meaning – even though we no longer go to Mass, as sadly we find that many churchgoers are not tolerant of the quirks of children with special needs 🙂
Yes rituals and traditions are so important in our lives. Sometimes I think we do them just to remember. I can imagine the confines of church would not be an easy mix with children with special needs.
We had a priest once who one week when he heard a screaming child would comment saying how wonderful that family were to persevere with the tradition of mass. Great you say, except he obviously wasn’t the most balanced of individuals as the next week he could just as easily stop the mass until the child was removed!
Great story! I’m glad you found the joy in Easter and yes, a great bit of it is about family. It’s a sad day for me because I never have the opportunity to be with family for Easter. Instead I spent the day hiding eggs for my dogs! Those little plastic eggs filled with dog treats amused them so much the first time around I went in and refilled them so we could do it again. I’m sorry for your loss. Every holiday has some sadness when someone is missing. One thing I would like to say: I very much respect you for not imposing your lack of belief onto your children. I think that is very admirable to let them make up their own minds and come to their own conclusions. And yes, faith is very comforting for most, speaking as one who does believe. I really enjoyed reading your story Tric.
Thanks a milion. I’m sorry you were alone on Easter, but as I well know dogs can be great company, as is faith for many people.
I also know that there were many people surrounded by family and loved ones who were probably more “lonely” than you were.
Very true! I know a lot of people in relationships or within groups, be it family or friends, who feel very alone even in the midst of their others. So so true Tric. I talked with all my family on the phone that day and the dogs were –and always are– great company. It turned out to be a decent day… 🙂
Yes to all of the comments. We all have those feelings, experiences, and lacks. For those of us who celebrate eternal life promises of a believed in eternal life, it is more. Thank God for Easter and its promise for more than today, although we also spend today living fully, enjoying memories of the past, seeing potential of tomorrows, and on this middle ground, we walk and love.
Lovely comment. Thanks Glen and Happy Easter to you and yours.