Do I lie? Of course not!

“A lie wouldn’t choke you”.

As a child my mother often said those words to me,
as with the straightest of faces I lied to get out of trouble.
Sometimes in exasperation she would exclaim,
“Patricia, you would say mass”.

I was born to lie.
It is possibly my greatest skill.photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sequoya/2517911425/">seq</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>
My face never flickers,
and my words are clear and utterly believable.

I should have perhaps,
gone on to be a professional poker player,
or an actress,
but I chose a life which perfectly fits my skill set,
I am a mother and wife.

On a daily basis,
I can perfect my skill.
“Had you a busy day?”.
“Desperately busy, I’m exhausted”.

“Did you see my favourite t-shirt?”.
“No, darling, I’ll help you look”,

as I hide it behind the wardrobe.
“Is that top new?”.
“Don’t be silly, this old thing is ancient”.

As a mother there is no end to my lies.
“I was an A student”.
“I’d never have done anything like that”.
“When I was a child I did as I was told”.

And so it goes on and on.
When I hear others on the radio and in print,
saying how important honesty is in a relationship,
I laugh.

There are so many other things that are so very important,
such as trust, companionship, laughter and love.
But honesty? I don’t think so.
They are, as far as I’m concerned, misinformed.

My mother was a master of deceit,
and in time I hope to pass on this skill to my daughters.
As we grew up we wondered at her boldness.
She relished a good lie,
and would laugh her heart out sometimes if in fact,
her lie resulted in completely fooling my Dad.

It certainly didn’t seem to affect them as a couple.
My Mum and Dad had a very strong marriage,
and it would appear so far (23 years),
that I have too.photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/coriehowell/3358570403/">Corie Howell</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>

My husband laughs with and at me regularly.
We fight but always make up,
and we enjoy each others company.
I have no doubt he’s my best buddy,
and he tells me often he loves me,

Unless of course he is lying!

This was written in response to todays Daily Posts promptΒ 

What is your least favorite personal quality in others? Extra points for sharing your least favorite personal quality in yourself.

photo credit: seq via photopin cc
photo credit: Corie Howell via photopin cc


25 thoughts on “Do I lie? Of course not!

  1. It’s very hard for me. All someone needs to say is, “look at me”, and I’m toast. My sister gets so frustrated when she “mom lies” and I bust out laughing, bc I know the truth. Funny post, and I ain’t lyin’. *grins*

  2. I don’t call it lying. I doctor the truth, albeit to my advantage. Isn’t that part of being an organised group? My worst but most efficient lie is “no, you won’t like those chocolates – they’ve got liquor in them”. It’s saved my chocs so far! Thanks for your lovely comment on my writing contest entry – you’re a doll, albeit a lying one πŸ™‚

      1. Some French mothers I know were shocked to the core by my unwillingness to share. I told them that when I bought my kids Smarties, they never let me have an orange one so I was entitled to do so. Now I just buy my own Smarties.
        Last day for the voting on the Expat competition – fingers crossed. I was in second position the last time I looked. SO if you kno anyone who would be interested oin reading my derivel, please sned them over there (or take them along with a gun pressed in the small of their backs).

        1. For the moment, if we include Duncan (whose vote hasn’t appeared yet) and my pal Diana in the States (whose vote is in the virtual pipeline between her ipad and the Expat’s jury), I’m up to 40 votes, which makes me feel so goddam loooooved, guys, it no longer matters if I win anything or not. πŸ™‚

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