Regret.

All mothers have regrets,
moments they failed,
or things they would do differently,
if only they were given the chance.

However I have a regret,
and cannot imagine if I had my time again,
how I could fix it.

This regret came back to haunt me last night.

I was reading through my wordpress reader.
and greatly enjoying the eclectic mix of blogs,
I seem to have gathered,
as my favourites.
Every day, so many different posts,
at my fingertips.

I began to think how much I love to read and write,photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dawolf/6212638832/">dawolf-</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a>
and as I thought it,
I felt that familiar itch.
The one no antihistamine can cure.

I must touch those keys,
there were thoughts bursting in my head,
which I had to commit to print.

It is as I write that I can feel it.
The stress of the day leaving.
The beginnings of a smile,
twitching to break through.
The realisation the post I am writing,
is coming together.
Knowing where it is going.

And as I was thinking all this,
A wave of regret swept over me.

Three of my four children,
have not been bitten by the reading bug.
They have no desire to read.
None whatsoever.

They grew up surrounded by books,photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/j_regan/9667699862/">regan76</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>
which were read to them regularly.
Not only were they read to them at night,
but at any time during the day they wished.
Such was my desire for them to enjoy books,
as much as I do.

The reality is,
they will never joyfully clutch a book,
and wonder when the day will end,
so they can curl up,
and open that first page.
They will never stay awake,
way too late into the night,
because they have to read,
just one more chapter.
And for them at no time,
will they wonder about a character,
and smile, worry or cry on it’s behalf.

Now they are older,
two at college,
and two still at school.
I see that life is busy for them.
Priorities have changed.
There are a multitude of distractions to hand.
Netflix means there is always something on tv,
and facebook and twitter seem to fulfill their reading requirements.

As I sit back and remember,
the exciting stories of my childhood,
the slow beginnings of a love of poetry,
and now as an adult,
the joy of a good book,
I am filled with sadness.

They will never know what they are missing.
But I know,
and I cannot do anything about it.

photo credit: dawolf- via photopin cc
photo credit: regan76 via photopin cc

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22 thoughts on “Regret.

  1. They say that there are no people who don’t like to read–there are only those who have not yet found the right book. Perhaps the book that will create that reading spark is still out there for each of your kids . . .

    1. True. I suppose I just always thought they couldn’t but like books and reading and have been quite taken aback when they turned out to be anything but bookworms. As you say they are though still wonderful.. sometimes!

  2. I concur with bookmammal. I too felt what you feel with my own children. But, gradually, they have found books they enjoy and devour them. Perhaps not quite as voraciously as I have always done but I discovered that love very early in life. They have come to it themselves even while still embracing Facebook et al.
    Perhaps the technological distractions they have had, which I didn’t, delayed their ability to come to that moment of appreciation until they were ready.
    Having said that, my eldest daughter of 24 would still say she would rather wait for the movie! 🙂 x

    1. I love it “I’ll wait for the movie”. I really hope you’re right. It’s a lovely thought that they might in time, as you say, read more than tweets!

  3. I, too, am encouraging a love of books and reading in my kids. Yesterday my daughter said some nonsensical statement (trying to get my goat, I’m sure) about not caring about learning to read. I gasped and calmly told her reading was the single most valuable skill she will ever learn. She had already moved on as I spoke…but seriously, I will be quite disappointed if tweets are all she reads in the future.

    1. Yes It never occurred to me that they mightn’t. Oh well everyone seems to agree that in time they may come round, so I will live in hope!

  4. My daughters were never huge readers and it made me truly sad. One became fascinated with the Harry Potter series and I was ecstatic thinking it would lead her to more reading. 😦 It did not. I hope their children do, fall in love with reading. Even with all of this technology I love the getting lost in a book feeling. Being surprised when I pull back from the book that I am not immersed still in the world of the story.

  5. don’t feel a moment of regret, you’ve done the best thing you can do, read to them and show them you love to read. they will find words in their own way, perhaps not in the same way you did and continue to do. my middle daughter kind of stopped reading when in middle school and we went to the library and checked out her favorite children’s books. we took them home, sat on the floor and read them out loud to each other and i saw her smile with the memories and good feelings that came from the books. as time went on, she grew to love books again. some kids now read online, read comics, news, graphic novels, it’s all reading, just what they choose to read and how they choose to read it. not to worry, they will find their way back to words and you will be happily surprised. )

    1. I really hope so. Maybe it is just where they are in life at the moment. Wouldn’t it be a very much bleaker life without the joy of books? I suppose that is just my view as I cannot imagine it otherwise.
      Thank you for your reassuring words. I’ll report back in ten years time!

  6. I didn’t like to read until a couple years ago. 🙂 I still don’t read novels..but I read what interests me. I even made it thru college with my husband joking that he wondered if I could read..as he loves to read. I hated being forced to write a certain number of words too. 🙂
    Love –
    Laurie

  7. You’ve done all you can….you’re a good mom. Hopefully when they grow a little bit older they will find the right book to lead them where you would like them to go. Maybe when they have children of their own, who they want to inspire to read:)

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