Are Men Deaf?

When our children were babies,
They roared at night.
Whilst my husband slept like a log!

Then, every morning he would ask me,
“How was last night?”
Now there is a question,
whose meaning has greatly changed,
since children arrived!

Anyway he’d ask me,
and I’d spew it all out.
“she slept at 12 til two,
then up for an hour,
then asleep for one minute,
then awake roaring…..
etc etc,
bad enough living these nights,
I wont bore you with further detail,small__3097535993
you get the message.

Then someone would ring,
and I would hear him,
give a blow by blow account of the night,
as if he witnessed it!

I was amused and in truth,
quite envied the world of man.

Was he really deaf to her screaming?

However as the years have moved on,
I have discovered,
with conclusive proof once again,
that no,
men are not deaf.
They have selective hearing!

How do I know?
Well after a spate of bad nights,
my patience with my darling baby,
was worn away.
She was still not sleeping.
The night had become one very long,
dark and lonely day.
This particular night,
she had no intention,
of leaving my arms to lie anywhere.

I tried one last time.
Waiting, barely breathing,
cradling her in my arms,
until I knew she was in a sound sleep,
and then I waited some more!

Eventually I put her, oh so gently, into her cot.
I removed my arms from beneath her so carefully,
you’d think she was gelignite.
Then as light footed as possible,
I left her,
and returned to my freezing spot in bed.

Two minutes later I heard her cry!small_3013318395

I threw back the duvet and roared,
“I’m going to kill her”
And for you real mamas out there,
I meant it!

In a split second,
my husband was up and running.
“I’ll get her”.

It seemed he could hear perfectly well after all!

photo credit: <a href=””>Jack Fussell</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>cc</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=””>premasagar</a&gt; via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>cc</a&gt;

14 thoughts on “Are Men Deaf?

  1. You are correct. Men do have selective hearing. This is a funny example of how selective it can get….

    When a woman says:
    This place is a mess! C’mon,you and i need to clean up, your stuff is lying on the floor and you’ll have no clothes to wear, if we don’t do laundry right now!

    What a Man Hears:

    blah,blah,blah,blah,YOU AND I
    blah,blah,blah,blah,ON THE FLOOR
    blah,blah,blah,blah,NO CLOTHES
    blah,blah,blah,blah,RIGHT NOW!


  2. I’ve read the word duvet more times since I’ve started reading blogs a few weeks ago than ever before. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever seen that word.

    We do hear what we want to hear, that’s for sure. I don’t miss the tense moments where both of us heard a kid screaming in the middle of the night and we’d pucker our buttholes while we waited to see if the other was going to get up! Well, I sort of miss them.

    We do hear things when we sense that momma is at a breaking point though. At least us smart one’s do.

        1. lol. please don’t, I find the differences charming. I was simply saying that you’re like the third mum πŸ˜‰ who’s used that word in the past couple of days.

    1. a duvet and a quilt are not inter-changeable terms

      a duvet is best described as a plain, non-patterned, white quilt that is inserted into a coloured and/or patterned cover – sealed on 3 sides – (much like a large pillow case) which is removed periodically and washed

      to confuse things even more, when i lived in Scotland only posh folks said ‘duvet’. The rest of us called it a “downie’ :lol

  3. Hi, I found your blog through mummyshymz’s site and have to say that I’ve been enjoying your posts! This one especially resonated with me! I too, got the “how was last night?” almost every other night. Haha. Men are the same everywhere!

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