I wonder do many people keep diaries nowadays? What with social media encouraging us to share our everyday lives online and the lack of penmanship, I suspect the numbers are few.
I began a diary six weeks after my dad died and wrote in it for over 25 years. It was a place to vent initially, to pour out my pain onto its pages and begin to process life without Dad. There are so many thoughts and memories contained within those pages, covering student nurse me, newly engaged me, my early years as a young mother and so much more.
Then, six years ago I took a different direction and began this blog, Initially I didn’t think anyone would see it and certainly never suspected anyone would read it. I was wrong.
Over the past six years I’ve enjoyed sharing my thoughts here, but there is little doubt that knowing others are reading, has in some ways removed the free flow of my writing. Many comment that my writing is honest.
But is it?
Is it honest to half say something? Or even not to speak of it at all? Now that I know you are reading, am I myself when I write or the person behind, “My Thoughts On A Page” Have I changed as a writer, or do I still enjoy freedom of speech?
Writing is a strange pastime. We are solitary as we write, but once published we want company and care what others think. Tonight, even as I write this post, I care what you think and yet, in the back of my mind sits the post I wish I was writing. It’s not controversial or damning, but it is personal.
So, write it I will, freely and honestly… in my diary. Perhaps I will write on it’s cover, just as I did as a child, “Private. Keep Out. In six years I seem to have come full circle!