My husband got a new job last year, one he loves. Yahoo, you all say isn’t that just wonderful. I thought so too, until the night I met his fellow workmates.
Don’t get me wrong they were all great company and to be honest I clicked with them instantly. We chatted at length until one of them said “Oh and wait until the Christmas party, you will love it, it’s a mad night”. Great I hear you say once more, well you would be wrong. For the minute I heard Christmas Party, I thought ‘dresses, shoes, makeup, girlishness”. My heart sank further and further as I listened in horror as they excitedly spoke of the enormous occasion it was, with everyone making a huge effort, “There’s even a prize for best dressed”. Well I can tell you that was the last straw. My hearing shut down, as I began to travel away from those around me. I picked up all thoughts of a Christmas party and I bundled them up, before ‘losing them’ in the further most recess of my mind.
Today I received a text from my OH, “Partners expected Sunday night”, and out jumped those thoughts I’d hidden away. Christmas party. Nooooo! Feck! There was no way out.So here I am slowly awakening to the reality of a Christmas Party in February, with hundreds of people I do not know, all dressed up to the nines.
I do not exaggerate when I say to you that dresses, handbags and make up are alien to me. Those men among you who are reading I ask you to imagine preparing yourselves for such a night out, but as a woman. Can you walk in heels? Can you sit in a dress? Would you feel like yourself if you were dressed up as a woman?
I’m well impressed with you if you would be comfortable doing so, but it is one very difficult task for me. I can remember a comment made by a friend of mine, who had more than the recommended level of alcohol in her at the time. It was my birthday party and if I do say so myself I looked alright (not in a dress), standing in front of me she looked me up and down, then raised her bottle of beer saying, “Fair play to ye, ye look great, but you just don’t do sexy do ye?”. In a way I took it as a compliment as I have no desire to ‘do sexy’, but I’m hoping you get the picture I’m painting here.
I enjoy being a woman, I love a night out. However there is a boyish part of me which does not sit well with girlishness. Shopping, nails, beauty products, spa treatment are not on my radar, and nights out all dolled up are a total nightmare. I can’t even walk like a lady!
However there is no getting away from this one. So much to the delight and amusement of my friends when I tell them the news, a shop load of dresses will be donated to me to try on. Accessories I wouldn’t even have thought of will be supplied, and there will be much laughter at my unease.
So look out world, next Sunday for one night only Tric Kearney will be making an appearance live in Cork, Ireland, dressed as a woman. Oh and before you ask, there will be no photos.