Series of letters. Letter 12.

Letter 12 comes from the writer of the blog West African Princess.

Letter to my Ex
I saw you today, We laughed and joked around. It felt a bit like the old times yet completely different. We’re just “Friends” now, no butterflies, no gentle intentional brushes or glances that seem to last a lifetime,None of that. I thoughtlessly made a reference to the past, “Do you remember…..” I started and let the sentence trail off when I caught a look at your glance, heavy with meaning.. Yes, you remembered. You didn’t acknowledge or deny my half question, just looked at me with a half smile and cut right across my thoughts.

That’s okay. I’m done. We’re done. I’m saying this from a good place, not a hint of malice, guilt or pain. At some point you were my everything now I’ve finally learnt to let go. So many off and on’s. I knew you liked me but you were scared to after the first break up, but I couldn’t be with you knowing you weren’t 100% in. It’s best this way.

You were my best friend and confidant for the longest time. My first boyfriend. I could tell you everything and anything even during our off times. Do you remember when I was about to leave for college? We stayed out till late in the evening hugging and making little promises we could not keep. lol, ahh the innocence of youth. I’m a bit older now, wiser I could claim. I can see now it would never have worked out Hindsight 20/20 .

Some days I get scared and then I get selfish, I get scared that no one will ever like me as much as you did. I wonder if anyone will ever make me laugh or protect me as much as you did? If I can ever get close enough to anybody I’m in a relationship with, to cry out of fear and/or frustration? I get selfish cause in these moments I want you back. Not because I can’t bear another day without you or because you’re constantly on my mind but because I’m scared of being alone. I disgust myself.

I wish you the best my darling. I hope you find the girl of your dreams.I hope she makes you smile, you deserve to be happy. I hope she loves you, every single bit of you, imperfections and all. I know you enough to say she’s a very lucky girl.

Goodluck 🙂 .I pray we continue to be friends. Love you as a friend, no hard feelings on my end at least!!!!!!

All my love,

W.A.P x

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5 thoughts on “Series of letters. Letter 12.

  1. wow, how sweet and thoughtful. and not selfish to wish not to be lonely and wonder if you will ever be loved again. he is lucky to have had you in his life )

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