Letter 12 comes from the writer of the blog West African Princess.
Letter to my Ex
I saw you today, We laughed and joked around. It felt a bit like the old times yet completely different. We’re just “Friends” now, no butterflies, no gentle intentional brushes or glances that seem to last a lifetime,None of that. I thoughtlessly made a reference to the past, “Do you remember…..” I started and let the sentence trail off when I caught a look at your glance, heavy with meaning.. Yes, you remembered. You didn’t acknowledge or deny my half question, just looked at me with a half smile and cut right across my thoughts.
That’s okay. I’m done. We’re done. I’m saying this from a good place, not a hint of malice, guilt or pain. At some point you were my everything now I’ve finally learnt to let go. So many off and on’s. I knew you liked me but you were scared to after the first break up, but I couldn’t be with you knowing you weren’t 100% in. It’s best this way.
You were my best friend and confidant for the longest time. My first boyfriend. I could tell you everything and anything even during our off times. Do you remember when I was about to leave for college? We stayed out till late in the evening hugging and making little promises we could not keep. lol, ahh the innocence of youth. I’m a bit older now, wiser I could claim. I can see now it would never have worked out Hindsight 20/20 .
Some days I get scared and then I get selfish, I get scared that no one will ever like me as much as you did. I wonder if anyone will ever make me laugh or protect me as much as you did? If I can ever get close enough to anybody I’m in a relationship with, to cry out of fear and/or frustration? I get selfish cause in these moments I want you back. Not because I can’t bear another day without you or because you’re constantly on my mind but because I’m scared of being alone. I disgust myself.
I wish you the best my darling. I hope you find the girl of your dreams.I hope she makes you smile, you deserve to be happy. I hope she loves you, every single bit of you, imperfections and all. I know you enough to say she’s a very lucky girl.
Goodluck 🙂 .I pray we continue to be friends. Love you as a friend, no hard feelings on my end at least!!!!!!
All my love,